Toddler refusing a bath

[24HoursFromTulseHill]

DS is 2.3 years old and has been having nightly baths since he was a baby.
Last week he had a couple of upsetting experiences in the bath and now refuses to go in it (he did a poo in the bath one night and the following night I needed to wash his hair when he was too tired and he got upset).
I don't think it's a sensory thing, because he still enjoys washing his hands at the sink and playing with water in the garden.
He now refuses to go in the bath, regardless of whether it's empty or has some water in, so we've been doing flannel washes next to the bath instead but it's been 10 days now and his hair needs another wash.
I've tried coaxing him into the shower with little success.
His nursery workers say to keep on exposing him to the bath every night but not forcing him in it, to keep the familiarity and build up his confidence.
I've tried going in with him or dangling my feet in the water with no success. New bath toys haven't worked either. Our bath is a deep roll top bath that he needs to be lifted in and out of and he's an absolute control freak so I think that's part of the issue.

What else can I try or how long might this go on for?

As others have said, can you tempt him in? Bath crayons/squirty foam/colour changing bubble bath? They sound messy, but wash off fine. You could take him and let him choose fun things for a special magical bath, just for big boys, with stickers, and chocolate afterwards.

Something similar happened to one of mine, and this worked. What also worked for me was to say his favourite stuffed animal needed a bath, and he had to go in the bath with him, because he was scared, and needed to bath him, and show him it was okay! Doing the voice of the toy worked great... the things we have to do! 🤣

How big is your kitchen sink?

maybe try that

or visit Grandmas..maybe a different bath?

or take him swimming

or a paddling pool in the garden

Does he like the swimming pool?
Could you bring him swimming and carry him in to the shower after?

Weekly?

It's paddling pool season, stick him in that for now. I'm usually of the opinion of shove them in and deal with the tantrum but it does sound dangerous in your bath. Try the shower, if that doesn't work I'd go for a sink/paddling pool for a bit. Have you tried bathing with him? Might be way to coax him in until he realises it's not so bad.

I was going to suggest bath crayons!

I’d disagree.

Mine refused for 6 months at that age (ND). We didn't pressure at all. After a couple of weeks, his long hair was beautifully soft, clean and shiny. Then one day I was running a bath for his brother and he jumped in to play and has never refused again. Preserving his trust in us was imperative.

No, I wouldn't do that. It is just too much engagement and setting you up to fail.

If he doesn't want a bath, fair enough, it won't kill him to not have a bath. He's obviously stressed about the bath so just wash him down in the sink or shower or whatever. Do not make a big deal of it. It isn't worth the aggro and if you do it will more likely turn into a problem.

Maybe you or dad could get in with him?

This!
Just lift him in!
Don’t make a hoot hah about it.

We had this.

Some posters who haven’t experienced it do not understand.

What worked for us was a marble run toy that suckers to the tiles above the bath. Marble run bath toy on Amazon.

In the hot weather, you can also do paddling pool in the garden.

2yr olds can be physically strong, and are fully able to climb straight back out of the bath again.

Some parents would rather not physically restrain their slippery, screaming child and force them to do something which is distressing them.

OP, I can see you are getting some really unhelpful responses here. The 'pandering to the child' are particularly frustrating. My DD developed an aversion to the bath when she was two. If I tried to put her in she would scream and thrash around so much that I would have had to hold her down for her own safety. Personally, I don't feel comfortable holding a child down in a bath but maybe that's just me 🙄I also think holding her down in the bath would have created an even stronger aversion to the bath. In the end it only lasted two weeks and resolved itself so I don't really have any advice (sorry). But I do think waiting it out is probably the best course of action.

What’s his comprehension like? How does he respond when you talk to him outside of bath time?

I would get into the shower holding the little one skin to skin, back to the shower water, wash him down while talking, singing. Did that with all mine until they were water confident. A bath must seem huge and scary to a little one.

Or a friend with a child who loves the bath and see if he'd hop in with a playmate

DD had a spell of this (seemingly out of nowhere) and choosing some bath bombs reset it. She was just over 3 though so possibly more open to a bribe 😂

I second the paddling pool. Make it fun and non threatening and hopefully get some sort of hair wash but I don't think that is desperate with a 2 years old.

I just remembered we also did some fun bath bombs and he loved the water changing colours and the fizzing too x

We had the same issue about a year ago, myself or DH ended up going in with him. And then it progressed to only putting our feet in and sitting on the side.

It made him feel safe when one of us was in there with him. Maybe try this?

At 2 they can be pretty strong and maybe OP’s DC is big for their age?

My DC at 2 was the size of a 4 year old. There was no way I could force him in there, not to mention how unsafe it is with the bath being slippery. This is likely to make them hate bath time even more and cause even more problems the night after.

Bath needs to be kept a calm experience as it’s part of bed time routine

This child only has one bath a week! - it's not nightly.

Maybe this is why it's such an issue .

Baths or showers are a normal part of life

Usually the issue is the other way, that toddlers and don't want to get out of the bath and need to have the plug pulled, fascinated by the silver vortex as it swirls to the sea.