How to teach 18month old not to do something

[immy12]

Hi all,

Advice please - I think I need to manage my expectations as I have an amazing 18 month old girl and I've heard that at this age they're still developing so much and don't know what being naughty is... but my little one does things she's not meant to, and I firmly tell her no and she smiles and will try again. I want to set boundaries that no means no, but also she can barely speak so not sure the best way to do this? I take her away and distract her from situations most of the time but for example today, our dog (who is very chilled with her) was walking around the house, and she would NOT leave him alone, she kept trying to push him and I told her not to do that, that he doesn't like it, and she smiles...

Any advice please! Not just for that situation, but generally.

18 month old?

Move her away from the situation/dog. You can expect her to pay attention to your no.

You might want to get your title edited.

At 18 months old she's spent most of her life being a barely sentient potato, plonked from one place to the next. She's suddenly able to wander around, understand a little bit of language, and she wants to see what she can do.

You're expecting way too much of her. She's hardly been on the planet.

Keep saying no and removing her from whatever it is, distracting her and so on. If she can't stop you need to remove whatever it is. Put the dog away behind a baby gate in another room. You're probably unwittingly making these things into a game. Just calmly say "no" and take her off to do something else.

You literally just have to keep doing this until she understands and that's a long road ahead. When she understands some more language she'll start saying "no I don't want to!" and you'll have to adjust to the two and three year old toddler phase.

You remove and say no over and over and over again until they get it. It can take a very long time!

That's really helpful and reassuring to know that she's too young to understand - I thought I may be expecting too much at this age. Thank you

Oops! Thanks! How do I edit the title?!

Thank you

@immy12

That's really helpful and reassuring to know that she's too young to understand - I thought I may be expecting too much at this age. Thank you

Just brace yourself for the next phase. When they're two and three they often seem like they understand more than they actually do. Lower your expectations and just stick to the rules you've set as the adult. There will be tears and tantrums sometimes.

At this age just redirect her, distract her, pick her up and move her away, maybe say no while you're moving her.

You just have to be like a stuck record at that age. It's going to take a while because the dog is a really interesting toy to her and she just wants to play with it. Watch carefully, tell her no and remove and distract her. Just make sure you're right on it because it would be terrible if the dog had a bad day for whatever reason and snapped at her to try to get her away.

As well as removing and distracting her, you need to make sure that the dog has a safe quiet place it can escape to away from the child. Always make sure the animal has an available exit.

Report your own post and ask MNHQ to edit the title , You can not do it yourself .

Good point and yes, we have got the stair gate so he can have a separation from her, definitely needed, poor thing!

The best thing I learnt about setting boundaries, is that the child shouldn't have to do anything to meet the boundary.

So if the boundary is, 'we do not chase the dog' if she doesn't stop after being told once then you physically separate them, instead of waiting for her to meet the boundary on her own (which we know won't happen)

Another example that's worked for us 'pen stays on the paper' - remind once and if the pen goes on the table it gets taken away, simple as that (I don't threaten that I'll take it away as that draws out the process). DD learnt very quickly that I mean what I say.