Attachment parenting adverts

[jennywrites]

Every time I open my social media I seem to see about three or four adverts about attachment parenting, specifically co-sleeping with older children.

They always make me feel so guilty for not wanting to do this. I read them in detail, along with all the comments like how little they are, how much they need us in the night, how it doesn't last forever, how it builds a strong attachment bond etc.

I don't judge it at all, infact quite the opposite, I almost feel some envy towards those who can do this. But I can't, I've tried, it doesn't work for our family. I don't function well with broken sleep, my relationship suffers.

I guess the point of my post is to ask if people think it will affect my children negatively that I insist on the staying in their room to sleep? They are 12 months and 4 years old. They sleep well all night but the 4 year old does have Ollie the owl and a sticker chart (another thing I read negative comments about online) to encourage her to stay in her bed.

It's just another guilt stick to beat mothers with. I never co slept, my DD slept like a dream in her own room from 6 months old and our attachment is just fine. Do what works for you and pay no attention.

Thank you 😘

There's a push for it to make parents who do do it, feel better about something that isn't encouraged usually by health care professionals and to try and normalise it.

I have never co-slept with my children and can't think of anything worse! I am definitely in the minority amongst my peers.

If your children sleep well alone in their own bedroom and cot then crack on!

Both my children slept in their own room from 6 months. They slept though the night early on so it was easy to get them used to their own bedroom. They are now mid teens and they have strong attachments.

As long as children get their needs met and you spend time with them playing and cuddling etc your children will develop a strong attachment to you regardless of sleeping in their own room. I do think there is a bit of scaremongering in these adverts. I mean I work with children in the care system and some of them have really strong attachments to their parents regardless of what they have been through. I also work with children who do have attachment problems too. There is a lot of good research done on attachment theories that don't say you should co sleep with older or even younger children and I think like the pp put, it's just to guilt us parents even more and it's sad as we often guilt ourselves enough.

It's an ad not an order, people don't have to turn it into an anxiety filled crisis

This can exist without it being all about you, in the general sense of the word 'you'

I felt too scared when they were little babies and too uncomfortable once they were older babies. It never benefited our family as I wouldnt sleep well and we all function better with sleep.

Mine are now 15 and 9, and very secure in how loved they are. I don't think co-sleeping is the only way to have good attachment. Don't feel bad for not wanting to.

Meh it's just different parenting styles. Don't compare and don't feel guilt, especially when something is working well for you! Adverts I can handle but I do get a bit sick of seeing all the gentle parents on my social media boast about their fabulous bonds and superior ways of raising their kids.

What's wrong with everyone just sleeping in their own beds then coming into the big one for a morning cuddle to bond? 😀

My ex used to snore like a speared wild pig, I am a very light sleeper, I don't think I'd have made it out with my sanity if I added one sweaty, kicky legged toddler into the mix.

Separate beds worked for my DS19, he knows he's loved. (our "special bond" is on hold for an hour though as he's got to mow the lawn so he's not happy with me 🤣)

Same here.
Our 2 DC slept in their own rooms from a month old. (No guidance to keep a baby in with their parents until 6 months then)
Both brilliant sleepers and slept all night from 7 and 9 weeks old.