Just lost the plot with toddler, sat on the stairs crying

[Hardknocks]

Just turned 2 year old DD is an incredibly strong willed little one but lovely most of the time. However having an incredibly difficult day with her, have been screamed at for the majority.

Around 12 I put her down for her nap as usual which she refused for 45 min, so I took her for a walk in the pram where she proceeded to scream at me down the road for half an hour, so when we got home I was sweating and exhausted, I just took her out of the pram and screamed ‘will you just give me a break’.

I mean screamed. I clearly scared her, she cried and asked for a cuddle. I apologised and said that was wrong, and laid her on my bed where she’s fallen asleep.

I just feel bloody horrible. I had awful parents and I’m terrified of repeating their mistakes. I don’t want to be a shouty mum but this happens about once a week. DH was working but does pick up half the slack, he’s just far more patient than me.

You are OK. I have a 2 year old toddler. I have snapped at her in irritation. No it's not ideal, but yes we have all done it. Take that break while she's asleep. Solidarity from another toddler mum.

It’s ok, she will probably have forgotten when she wakes up! It’s a hot day and you were both I imagine hot and fed up. You sound lovely and very patient usually so don’t judge yourself for a once a week thing . I hope you can have a bit of a rest while she naps

It does sound as though, in the background, it might be worth doing some work on yourself on helping you to cope without becoming so overwhelmed so often. For example, I notice that when I'm not eating well, I have a much shorter fuse.

Honestly this is really common with toddlers and the heat won't be making things easier either. Cut yourself some slack, few people live up to the parenting advice they follow.

But we're all human!!!

Thank you everyone 🌺 I’m having a cup of tea and a breather and we will have a nice afternoon at the splash park hopefully forgetting that happened!

I just find it so hard to stay calm sometimes. I definitely need to do some work on myself I think.

Ok, breathe.

It happens.

Make yourself a cup.of tea/ coffee/ hot chocolate/ whatever.

When you are feeling calmer think about the different points that led up to you feeling overwhelmed, and what could have helped you at those points.

For me one of the biggest things was realising that I wasn't a bad mum if I couldn't stop DD screaming, it was just the phase she was in. That helped me take a step back mentally and not get so wound up.

But the triggers will be different for you. It might help to talk it through with a friend, or a counsellor if you can access one.

Sounds like a plan! Be kind to yourself, ans hope you have a nice afternoon.

My DD has just turned 2yo as well. She now pushes me to the absolute limit of sanity. She has just discovered screaming at the top of her lungs and does it constantly, either as a game or because she's unimpressed at something. It is absolutely awful.

I have snapped at her a few times as well, which is new. I've never struggled to control my emotions with her before. It's not nice seeing the fright in their face.

Don't beat yourself up too much. They are hard, hard work and the main thing is you know when you have slipped up a bit and need to get back in the calm zone again. You will not harm her with these small slip ups. Explaining and apologising, then working on keeping level headed is the right thing to do. Empathetic hugs x

Also I forgot to say mine now needs a later nap so could you try that? Around 1pm or so. Depending on wake up time of course!

Dont feel guilty or beat yourself up, its completely understandable. I've been through the terrible twos with my own children, four times. It really does test your patience, but the important thing is you calm down and patch things up.

My youngest DD was the hardest, even now shes very strong-willed. But as a toddler she was extremely contrary and she'd argue with me until she's red in the face ("it's not bedtime!", "I don't want a bath!")

Once I lost my temper with her before and tapped her on the bottom...I don't usually agree with hitting children but i just completely lost it. She cried at first but soon got over it and behaved, but god I felt absolutely awful

Two year olds can be little devils. You aren’t a bad mum and you aren’t repeating bad behaviour from your parents, you just got frustrated once. Forgive yourself and move on.
We have all been there. 💐

Hugs. I raised my voice more.times between 2.5 and 3.5 years than I had in the previous 20 years -.and I think shouting is a form of violence! Everyone snaps when they have a toddler. The important part is that you said sorry and acknowledged you shouldn't have. That's good parenting, sharing frailties and resolving upsets.

It has happened to the best of us! Lots of cuddles and that splash park you mentioned sound like the best fix.

Maybe also a little chat about how mummy also wanted to cry this morning and that that is how it came out. Our nursery is big on using this situations as emotional building blocks! Hopefully the nap and the sun sort everything out for you both :) xx

Thank you all SO much. We had a gorgeous afternoon, lots of kisses and cuddles before bedtime and I think (hope) that all is forgiven and forgotten. Yeesh, parenting is no joke.