1 year old late bedtime!

[thelma57]

Hi all, my DD has just turned 1 and for the last couple of months has been going to bed at around 9/9:30pm, this is because we’re still working with 2 naps and her morning nap is super long but she can’t quite make it to a decent bedtime so has a nap until around 5ish.

We still just go by wake windows which are around 3.5 hours then she does about 4 hours before bed.

She actually seems to sleep better if she has this later night, but I feel guilty about it and like it’s too late! I think once we settle on 1 nap we’ll be able to sort it, but is anyone else in the same boat?

FYI she’s still napping now 😂💀

Why do you think it's too late? She doesn't need to be up for school!
If you're all sleeping well, why change it? The UK seems to have a thing about putting children to bed early. Plenty of other countries let them stay up and socialise with the family and they just go to bed when they're ready.

It’s only a problem if it’s causing a problem for you. Unless she’s waking up too late for nursery I’d just go with her cues.

Personally I need my chill time of an evening so I'd try to cap the morning nap then move the afternoon nap earlier so she is waking up earlier. But I'm not you! If you're happy with things as they stand then carry on by all means. I am in a similar situation with my almost one year old and we find trying to have the afternoon nap as early as we can or sometimes just having one nap helps. But she's not ready to move to one nap a day every day yet.

I think it’s normal. My children didn’t move closer to a 7 o’clock bedtime until they dropped naps completely.

It's quite normal I think. DS certainly went through phases of going to bed late particularly around a nap transition. I found the best thing to do was not to fight it. Easier just to have them pottering around rather than spending hours trying to get them to sleep.

If it works for you all as a family it's absolutely fine! It will change as she ages, as you say.

Super normal! The couple of months before mine dropped consistently to one nap, her bedtime was 9-10pm. Then it went back to 7-8pm, and now at 15 months it's still generally 7.15-8pm depending on the length and time of her nap (usually 12/12.30 for 1.5-3 hours)

I'd cap the morning nap and bring the second nap a few hours earlier so she's going down for 7/7:30ish, but that's just personal preference and if what you're doing works for you then carry on, it'll work itself out in the end when she's ready to drop a nap. I always preferred a bit of child free time before bed, and I tend to go to bed on the early side anyway so a 7ish bed time for DS was better.

Definitely cap the naps. What time is she waking up / napping?
Mine is 17m, wakes at 6am, naps 9-10 and 2-3 and then goes to sleep just after 7. Could you get her up earlier in the morning to shift everything a bit earlier?

I agree! I live in the UK but I’m from Italy and when I tell my family and friends that over here people put babies and young toddlers to sleep at 18.30/19 they are shocked!!!
back home it’s normal for little children to go to bed after nine o’clock, even ten. It’s completely healthy and more social. everybody gets to spend time together.
also, in Italy and Europe in general I find that people have a more relaxed approach to babies sleep, whereas in the UK and the US especially, parents get soooo obsessed with giving tiny babies a strict schedule and times.
they’ll eventually get to a routine when they’re ready.

Thanks everyone, really appreciate all your comments!

It does work okay for us, so I suppose sometimes it’s just the pressure of what is ‘normal’.

I never want to cap naps, mainly because she is generally a terrible sleeper and if I do this, or skip one her night sleep is horrendous!

Great to hear it’s been the same for lots of others!

She’s currently fed and bathed and pottering around playing in the living room 💕

I wouldn't worry about as it's not going to be forever. Where I come from kids do not go to bed as early as 'normal' in the UK so I am more relaxed about my DD and I follow what works for her naturally. I much rather she goes to bed 'Late' than wake up 4.30-6am.

Oh she still does that @Olika 😂

You might find the bedtime drifts a little earlier once we start heading into winter. My daughters bedtime always drifts later through the summer. When she was 1 her bedtime went to 11pm considering mine was 10pm this was a problem. Fake sunsets by closing all the curtains has made a difference.
This year we have had the least drift. As soon as the clocks changed in march we have always taken her up to bed with her curtains already drawn.

If it works for you go with it OP. We can't get ours down any later than half six (she starts trying to go to bed around half five) despite good naps. The evening feels super rushed between DH finishing work, trying to eat a family meal together and getting DD down. It also means she wakes super early. I'd definitely prefer your set up!

Although have just seen yours still wakes up early anyway

Just be persistant, every night put her at the same hour, and eventually you'll get there. But you really have to be persistant. Ive done with mine since always to go to bed at 7, they dont always fall asleep right away but they have to be in bed even if not sleeping, no walking around etc (well my oldest is sent to bed at 8 now, but by 8/9 both are asleep)

Do whatever works, it's not like she's got to get up for work in the morning.

Agree with pp, if it ain't broke don't fix it!

Mine are 4 and 6 now and I don't think either of them has ever gone to bed before 8 (unless ill). They don't wake up early though and it works with our school/nursery/work/meal routines so we've never really pushed the issue of them going down earlier.

@Somerandomgirl that wouldn’t really work
for us as she’s only one and I still support her to sleep.

Glad for the feedback and happy to ride the wave for now!

I should have added, no i dont leave them alone, they fall asleep next to me on my bed and then i move them (well the oldest not anymore but when was little did the same). So i just lay next to and wait and dont let them walk about, keep repeating its bedtime . And then they know by themselves thats the routine and they do it themselves. I mean u can read books or watch something, whatever works to keep them there u know x im thinking... at 1 was still breastfeeding the little so she just fell asleep on the boob...but still same time everyday.. see what works just has to be consistent

Does it matter? Does she have an important meeting in the morning?

are you able to adapt your schedule?

my dd was on a schedule where her bedtime was just after midnight for most of her first year. Once I accepted that was her natural sleeping rhythm she and I both got so much more rest. Before that I would fight her for hours and hours trying to get her to sleep.

she is a teen now and can get up for school just fine. They outgrow it.