How to tell a parent you don't trust them with your child

[kiana2015]

I am not in anyway saying I had an abusive childhood I know many people had it worse but my parents used to constantly shout, swear, slap, pull my hair, not respect my privacy at all, very controlling, called me fat, make comments about other people including disabled people and I could carry on, I also witnessed my mother many times shaking my sister when she was a toddler and misbehaving. I do not trust them to look after my child, I have decided I will let them occasionally take her out when she is old enough to talk and tell me what is going on, I just don't know how to express this to my parents without hurting their feelings. They have been very kind and helpful to me in my adult years and I don't want to seem ungrateful or rude I know they mean well but they, especially my mother doesn't have a lot of patience especially from what I witnessed.

You don't have to explicitly tell them if you don't want to, just say no thank you each time they offer.

I wouldn't let them look after her unsupervised. Doesn't mean they can't see her often, just not by themselves. No need to say anything just make out you're a bit neurotic.

You don't tell them.

They won't take it well.

You are busy, or your child isn't ready, or you can't do that time etc etc

My ExH and I decided this about PIL.

You clearly had an abusive childhood and you don't want your child to be put through that. Good for you for breaking the pattern!
I had a similar experience to you but with neglect and emotional abuse, as I got older and less “dependent” our relationship improved tremendously.
I dont let my parents babysit unless my children are in bed asleep, and we visit them but with me and my husband there. I dont think theres any need to rake up the past if you don’t want to and no need to tell them you don’t trust them. If they weren’t great parents they may not offer much to take your child out and if they do just tag along.