Am I too old at 40 for a baby 🙃

[Rockchk31]

Exactly as the title says…me and my DP have been together for 2.5 years and have loosely talked about having a child of our own over that time- I have an 11 year old DD from my previous marriage.
Now it seems the time has come and my DP wants to get trying for a baby….I will be turning 41 in a few months but my DP is 33.
Im scared and excited all at once but I worry I’ll be too old when they are 10 for example I’ll be 50 🫣
Any advice from older parents would be welcome.

Congratulations op! I'm in my late 30s, with an 8, and a 5 year old. It is feeling more tiring now, but I think that's largely because they're close together, so the sleep deprivation went on longer if that makes sense. One is ND too, which made things a bit more challenging because I had two under 3 at one point. I think it has just maybe worn me down over time. Things are becoming easier now than they were. Plus we haven't had a support system, which can make all of the difference too.

In your situation, your older child will be 12ish and quite self sufficient I presume. I think only having one baby to focus on will work out okay. I also think when you've done it once already, it comes easier the next time around, esp when you'll hopefully have had afew years of sleep to recharge!

Congratulations op! A healthy fit 50 year old with a 10 year old is better than an unfit younger mother. We all have different amounts of energy at different ages, it is highly subjective.

You've got this!! 💐

I was just approaching 40 when I had my son. The difficult bits were not having a lot of money and exhausting job little support and both sets of parents with ill health. The baby did not cause the problems that would have occurred anyway. I didn't have any more as my menopause started early. He's now 30 and my pride and joy. We've just retired in time to enjoy ourselves and still support our son financially. If you want something you often have to make sacrifices. No big car, expensive holidays, etc . You can't put a price on happiness.xx

Op I'm sorry about the jobs situation how stressful! Get on olio for free stuff and fb marketplace free section and as many local mums whatsapp groups as you can - lots of people give baby stuff away. Food banks and baby banks. Tell your midwife and get in touch with local children's centre if you have them.

Congratulations. I'm in my early 70's and have a 2.5 year old.

My son became a single dad, the sole parent to his 2 month old son, and so I stepped up. I had no choice really as we're in the middle of nowhere here. I'm not healthy, have mobility problems and pain controlled by steroids and opioids. But we're parenting him together. (His grandpa is NPC). My son is a great dad, and I'm my grandson's 'mother', sadly the only mother he knows.

It's been a challenge having to go through it all again, getting up in the night, the (mild) illnesses, the picky eating, everything, but it's like riding, bike, you don't forget. This is not how I planned to spend my golden years, but it's been well worth the struggle. I'm bonded to him as I was my own. We're having a great laugh and it's fun giving a little boy the best life. He's so incredibly sweet and I love him with all my heart and soul. I'm right now resisting the urge to post pictures of him, lol.

I first became a mother 50 years ago and the funny thing is I really didn't like babies. I much preferred horses and dogs. You never know what this life is going to throw at you.

I do get a bit sad when I think I probably won't live to see him become a teen. My own boys were such fun teens and I'll probably miss all that.

@ElaineBurdock good for you! You sound like an incredible lady.

@Rockchk31 how are things on the other side? Any advice for someone similar trying to device whether to go for it or not? X

This has made me fill up now I have a newborn son. Your little boy will remember you love you all his life, its so amazing you stepped up for him.

I do think it's a bit bizarre how people dont bat an eye at women having babies at 35, 37, 39... but turn 40 and you're too old!

40 ain't old. If you're healthy, go for it.

Well little man is 5.5 months old and he is just the best baby, we have been very lucky with him, hardly cries, always just a smily happy boy….i don’t regret a single thing. Utterly adore our boy. I mean dont get me wrong I’m tired all the time even though he generally sleeps through the night and has done since around 8 weeks but he has completed my little family….i say go for it if it’s something you want ☺️