More worried about 13-month old...

[PfizerFan]

I've posted a few topics about my daughter and here I am again, still worried.

She's still getting physio for slow gross motor skills (currently only arms crawls) although has recently started pulling to stand and can get on her hands and knees fine if she wants to.

Now my new worry (on top of physical development) is communication. She babbles endlessly and has been for months but still no words yet (except possibly mama and dad but difficult to tell if she's just babbling).

She doesn't point either which is now my main concern.

She does: clap and wave, feed her toys, definitely understand stuff (if you say "go get teddy" she'll look round the room for teddy and go get it).

But no pointing which online says should happen between 9-12 months.

Should I be concerned? I keep reading "some babies focus on communication, some focus on physical development". What if your baby is behind on both?!

Edit - the title should say "more worries" not "more worried"

None of those things are a concern IMO.

She's still tiny. Babbling totally normal at that age and is developmental in itself. The crawling- my kids didn't crawl til way past one. Totally normal. It gets skewed by the babies who crawl at 4 months!

Try and enjoy her developing at her own pace.

Pointing- she's only just over the range you've found online. It's probably broader than that and there will be outliers.

You will drive yourself crazy looking for everything issue.

Got the t shirt sadly!

Thanks...really need to keep the anxiety in check. Can't live like this forever!

Some of the online milestone lists are a bit wonky. 9-12 months is on the early side for pointing – some do it then, but for most it seems to appear more like 12-15 months, and it isn't 'late' until 18 months. Similarly, some babies have words at 12 months...lots don't. She's babbling, using some gestures, and starting to understand a bit – she sounds on track.

Here are the communication questions for 12 months from the questionnaires the health visitors use. If you can say yes to 3 of them and 'sometimes' to one more, then her communication appears on track (two 'sometimes' answers are worth the same as one 'yes'). You'd have to say 'yes' to less than two of them for her to score 'in the black', where referral is suggested.

• makes two similar sounds like ba-ba, ma-ma, etc. (You've already said this is yes)
• play a 'game' like peekaboo, wave bye-bye, clap hands without being shown the gesture (I know she can clap/wave. Can she do this if you say 'wave bye-bye' or 'clap handies' or whatever?)
• follow one simple command (Yes, she can go get her teddy when asked)
• three 'words' (Okay, this is a no)
• look at the correct object when asked where is the teddy/ball/shoe (only needs to know one object) (Yes, she clearly knows 'teddy')
• Point to something she wants (another no)

So that's three yeses, and another that's at least close, just from the little I know – she really sounds okay on communication.

Yes, if I ask her clap without using gestures she will clap. She scored ok on communication at her 12 month review according to the HV...but that was over a month ago and nothing has really changed...

Try to remember that there is a range of normal AND that it is not necessarily abnormal to fall outside the range. I am not sure why you are looking up these metrics; it isn't in your baby's interests. She will get achieve her milestones on her own timescale. All you are doing is feeding your anxiety which is obviously not good for you and could eventually be harmful to your child. Could you use your energies to work on your anxiety and on enjoying your baby? One idea might be to off load some of your worries so eg you could make a plan to see your HV every 6-8 weeks at which time you could discuss progress but in between you make a pact with yourself not to torture yourself with all this agonising.

Also the wonder weeks app makes me feel sick...she can hardly do anything on it! Crawls through the room holding a toy car and saying "vroom vroom". Stacks three blocks? Takes out a broom and tries to sweep? Are 13 month olds really meant to be doing all this :(

Those are definitely 18 month skills. I think wonder weeks is a bit aspirational/anxiety inducing!

I've found language so far in my 19 month old comes in spurts - no change for ages and then suddenly 10 words at once. He also wasn't pointing at 12 months and right on track now

One of my nephews was like this, he had physio because he wasn't even really crawling at 14 months, more just rolling around. Noboby knows why that was, but he's a healthy young man now. Another nephew was still just babbling at around that age yet he's just turned 2yrs old and he knows the names of more dinosaurs than I do.

I've seen such a wide spectrum of development, just in my rather large extended family, that I wouldn't leap to conclusions about any child.

13 months is still a baby. My 21 month old babbles and says about 3 words. Mine claps but still doesn't wave. You really need to relax and enjoy your baby. Shell develop in her own time at her own pace.

I'd delete the wonder weeks app – it's making you feel worse, not better, and its milestones don't line up with the actual questionnaires health care professionals use to assess child development.

I'd agree those are roughly 18 month skills, the blocks maybe a bit earlier on average, the basic pretend play maybe a bit later on average. Definitely not what you see the average 13 month old doing! Sweeping? Most of them either can't walk yet or are far too wobbling to be considering handling a broom at the same time!

Ok thanks all. I think I need to chill for a bit. I'll see how she's doing at 15 months and if I've still got concerns (ha ha as if I won't) I'll call the HV.

My ds is 15 months and doesn’t do that either. I’m not worried. In fact he does less. If I point to something or say it he won’t really know what I’m referring to. He doesn’t point or wave but can clap. He babbles a lot, he can sort of say ‘no’ and mama dada but even then I don’t think he’s saying it specifically to us.

He’s made leaps and bounds though in terms of crawling, pulling up, climbing, just about standing unaided for 5-10 seconds. Finding his balance. So he’s a bit busy playing and learning in those aspects.

Honestly OP, delete the wonder weeks app because it’s a load of rubbish.

My DD rolled once, never crawled and only began pulling to stand at around 12 months and walked at 15. She’s now a vivacious 4 year old who never stops moving or talking from dawn to dusk 😂

They do things in their own time. As my mum always said to me “comparison is the thief of joy”, you spend so much time focusing on what they don’t do compared to other babies that you miss appreciating all the things that they can do!

Parenting is a long haul. Other parents sometimes really made me laugh. I remember one parent worried that they're under 18 month old because she didn't know the names of shapes like triangle etc. She knew some of them but not all of them.
My DD talked very early, first word at 5 months and she raced on until she was 14 months old when she stopped talking. She started talking again at 16 months but nothing like as well as before.
It took 10 years for me to get the help she needed. She's an adult now with absolutely normal speech.
Ditch the milestone app and enjoy every day with your lovely daughter.

What are you worried about OP? That she's autistic? Let me tell you, if she's autistic, she's already autistic and you still need to relax and learn to enjoy her.

How much time are you spending worrying about this?

Hello! Sorry another (probably over anxious) question. Yesterday, v exciting, as daughter (14 months old next week) began pointing to request things. Today, however, back to whole hand pointing (which she first started doing about a week ago). Is that normal when they first start?

Crawling and getting mobile takes many forms. If she’s pulling to stand she might totally skip crawling on all fours. You say ‘arms crawling’ - it was known as commando crawling when our DC was small. There are 2 kinds of that crawl - just propelling forward using arms and using both arms and legs. Our DC did the latter, moving only to all fours crawling shortly before the standing and cruising phase. I know bum shuffling twins who never crawled at all and rolling is another way of getting around many babies use. Unorthodox crawling can be a sign of physical problems but not necessarily. Once they start standing and walking holding furniture concerns about crawling style usually reset to zero

With the greatest of respect OP, you really are overthinking it and spending too much time worrying about this. She is how she is and nothing will change that, just enjoy what she can do and stop looking for problems

OMG OP will you calm down.

Nothing you've posted on your many threads about your baby is of the least concern.

Stop panicking and enjoy your child.

Lol ok, duly noted...

Agree with @Corksoles if she's autistic she's autistic. I was sure DC2 was from probably younger than this, he's still not had an assessment but I'm still sure and there's nothing I can do about it (because genetic, DC1 is and DC3 will likely be too!) but I can make allowances for him and adapt expectations. He was in the black for communication around 1.5 and is still speech delayed at 3 but he's getting there,

Yeah. I think OP could probably really benefit from thinking about whether CBT or something else might help with her anxiety. They're small for so short a time - you really should enjoy it.

But a bit of me is cross at all these threads with people freaking out about whether or not their child points in the correct way. The worst that could happen is that they're autistic and you know what, these kids aren't worse or lesser. They don't bring less joy. They don't teach you less about humanity and parenting. And in fact, if you're having and raising children before you've gained the wisdom that they won't and shouldn't turn out exactly how you want, then you might need to read some parenting books and reflect on why you wanted children.

@Corksoles it's not about being "worse" or "lesser", it's about wanting the best for your child, and if there is an issue getting the right help for them as soon as possible.

Haven't read the full thread, but I was you 6 weeks ago.
My DC didn't start waking until they were 18months - had very limited words - basically none.
At 18months they just got up and started walking, barely fell over and then their speech just came overnight!

But I was anxious and concerned!