Swimming - what progress can I expect in 3-4 months?

[HaveYouSeenRain]

I have a wealthy relative who lives in a beautiful home in holiday location. They have invited us for Christmas and we will spend two weeks at their home. We have paid for long haul flights and are so excited. Only issue is that relative and partner don’t have children and have a big pool in the garden. The garden is accessible from most rooms including bedrooms.

I feel really paranoid about this now as my youngest can’t swim. Older child is a confident swimmer (passed level 4 and in a class for level 5), and is sensible. But my youngest will be 3 by Christmas and so worried about him. He has never done much swimming (a few classes when he was 1), and I was wondering what the best approach is now? Shall I try and pay for lots of classes until Christmas? Pay for 1:1? What can I realistically achieve in a few months? Thanks

and please no criticism, we haven’t had much time to take him to classes yet plus I was very sick this spring with a long recovery period.

Most 3yos can't swim, even those in lessons!
However swimming everyday, for 2 weeks, in a private pool, will likely put him ahead.

Efore then you need to make him water confident, and safe.

To add, staying somewhere else is not an option. Airbnbs at Christmas will cost thousands and I think relative might be upset if we don’t stay at their home.
can you get temporary pool fences? Am I overthinking this?

my main concern is safety eg if he were to fall in the pool. He is also quite an adventurous child. We will of course watch him at all times but it worries me that there is a big pool in the middle of the garden.

Swim vest worn outside. Doors shut behind you, lock as many as possible and don’t use them. Limits the opportunity.

You need to make sure that at all times one adult at least knows they are designated to know where the kids are and be watching your youngest.

We stay in villa’s with pools with non swimming DD. We only use one external door, lock the rest and take it in turns to be with her. She wore a swim vest around the pool even if not going in.

You’ll need to supervise. Which presumably you would with a 3 year old anyway.

I wouldn’t be that confident about your older child either. Drill it into him he doesn’t go near the pool without you.

best thing to do in the meantime is not worry about “swimming” so much, but start taking both of them to the local pool and teach them water confidence. How to jump in and swim to the side, how to sink to the bottom and use their legs to push back up to the surface. How to relax and float, then roll onto their backs to breathe.

don’t use armbands or swim aids. They need to learn how to manage without them.

but you will need to supervise closely when away. Usually most pools will be fenced for safety though, have you asked?

Teach him water safety but just taking him regularly to swimming pool will give him confidence. Then jumping in and getting himself to the side these are basic and can be picked up by a child really quickly it’s more about teaching them to relax and not panic if they do go in, but don’t beat yourself up most don’t swim at that age and plenty of time to teach enough to be safe. I’m sure your family will help though

You have to set aside the thought of lessons - this is not a viable option for any young child. Edited to say: I don't mean don't have lessons, I just mean even a 3yo who can swim confidently must never be able to access a pool without adult supervision.

If there is no way to keep the child away from the pool I would not stay there. There must be a barrier between child and pool - is there nothing?

Of course we will supervise, I just feel really anxious about it. Not concerned about older child. He is 9 and very sensible and won’t go to pool alone. And a good swimmer too but would never suddenly run off and jump jn the pool. But obviously a 3 year old is more unpredictable.

this is a private pool in their home, there is no fence. Two adults live there, they don’t need a fence and it’s not the law in their country.

No there is nothing, you exit the living room or bedroom patio doors out onto the garden and the pool is straight in the middle of the garden. Basically 3 or 4 doors lead out onto the pool and garden area.

Thank you! Very helpful. Yes very true. My relative and partner are very kind and conscientious people and will definitely help. The partner was a nanny and they are very good at supporting us with the children.

We are so grateful to be invited and having this amazing holiday.

I think you are right to be anxious. Sorry, I know that is not what you want to hear, but it is against all safety advice for a young child to be able to gain access to a pool.

It is not a matter of the fence being a legal requirement - they are not in the UK.

Gosh that would worry me, OP.
Will the doors be secured at night?
Obviously, you'll have to have eyes on him 100% of the time (which doesn't sound relaxing). But I'd worry about him waking early and wandering out.

Just a thought - you're worried about upsetting the relative by not putting your 3yo in danger of drowning. Surely they would understand? And if they wouldn't, well, some things are more important.

I'd look for a water safety course vs lessons. I know some people who have done this and it prepares the child really well in case they fall in.

I would be very anxious too. I know for a fact that i wouldn't relax and enjoy the holiday, I'd probably stay elsewhere.. by all means join them in the day when you are sitting out there but I'd be concerned about those in between times, preparing meals, getting ready, just going for a wee etc.

Not many 3 year olds can swim confidently, and definitely not whilst wearing clothes as they likely would be if they fell in by an accident whilst you weren't around the pool.

I've just realised I haven't actually answered your question, in terms of progress it depends how often you take them. My kids have all really come on with those weeks intensive courses some places run during holidays - so I would say frequency is the key here and focus on floating/keeping head above water/getting to the side rather than swimming.

I was wondering if I was overthinking it but will need to have a strategy with my DH and the other two adults and be very clear who is in charge when one is cooking, having a wee etc. i am definitively a cautious parent by nature and already worried about this 5 months before the holidays.

realistically we will be out a lot during the day too, going to beaches, attractions, doing trips etc

I will look into a water safety course and also discuss with our relative with regards to the doors and if they are locked at night, and a temporary fence or similar.

I don't know about at 3. At 4, we moved somewhere with a pool. DS2 was just turned 4 at the time. Within 2 months he was "safe" in the pool - as in didn't use aids, and didn't need to cling permanently to an adult.

However, you are talking about a 2.5 year old currently. I would focus on "self rescue" - toomanytonotice has a great list.

Also - and I don't know about how good these are, but can you get a personal alarm, that will sound if DS gets wet ie a bracelet or similar??? Not as a substitute for total supervision, but as an extra?

So my in laws have a pool and from being tiny we have always told our twins only outside near it with am adult and have always had one person supervising when playing outside. Theirs did have a gate but people often left it open so inbound supervision the best thing as learning to swim.ia different to learning not to drown if u fall in

My 3.5YO has been in 2:1 semi private lessons for 2 months and can do 5m with a noodle and hates floating on his back or jumping in. By all means start the lessons, because you have to start somewhere and 3 is a good age, but it’s not going to have any baring on your holiday.

Do they have air conditioning? If yes them you can keep all the doors locked whenever 3YO is in the house and overnight. If they don’t so windows and patio doors will be open, and they don’t have a pool cover that can hold the weight of a person I would consider it unsuitable for young kids and stay elsewhere. Then outside you always explicitly agree who is watching the DC at any given time so you never fall into the trap of thinking the other is doing it. Use flotation devices if it makes pool time more fun for everyone, I always did alongside the swimming lessons until they could actually swim, or not, personal choice really, but remember they’re never a substitute for close supervision.

Thanks, I will check out the alarms.
He is 3 in a few weeks and will be 3 and 4 months at Christmas.

Yes they have AC. I don’t think they leave doors open at night, it gets too hot and humid. It’s definitely a AC culture!

Pool cover is also a good call, will check that w my relative.

we will definitely have to always explicitly agree on who is in charge of him.

You can buy floating pool alarms on Amazon

We bought a house with a pool the summer my dd was three. We didn’t get the whole summer because the purchase dragged on. However, before we turned the pool off at the start of September, she had learned to swim pretty much - she could do
a width and turn round and swim back. But I was in there pretty much every fine day with her for a while. Much of it was just playing with a swim vest on (turn them backwards, so they can’t undo the zip!!), but we had a “proper swim’ session each time. Really, I just go her to push off and thrash to
me, then caught her. But I stood a little further away each time so she had to work harder and she just clicked with it. No style to speak of , just a doggy paddle but she could do it

I used to teach swimming when I was younger. Your paranoia is not a bad thing.

Please recognize that this is not going to be a holiday for you. A 3 year old and a 9 year old around an unfenced pool will require constant vigilance.

If your child goes missing, check the pool first. Even if/especially if you can’t hear sounds of splashing. Kids make a beeline to water.

3 year olds are only just getting to the stage of developing their natural buoyancy. They should never be out of arms reach in a pool. Or next to a pool. Or near a pool. Or in the vague vicinity of a pool.

With the best will in the world, a 3 year old won’t learn to swim safely on their own in six months. That said, swimming lessons are still a great idea. Get them in the water as much as possible. They can learn to back float in that time (see below) and they can also learn how to behave safely around water and a pool will be less of a novelty to them .

Back floating is the safest position in the water. It means the nose and mouth are clear of water and you can breathe. Ensure your 9 year old can roll onto his back and back float. But this is no substitution for supervision.

You describe your 9 year old as confident. That is great. And dangerous. Over confidence in the water is common. Confidence is not the same as competence. I’d let a competent 9 year old swim on their own if I were by the pool. If they were not a competent swimmer, I’d be in the water and no more than a few meters away.

On the plus side, regular access to a pool on holiday is one of the best ways to improve swimming skills. So if they don’t drown, they’ll be much better swimmers after two weeks!