Do you have a village/support to raise children?

[pollypocketss]

As the saying goes, you need a village to raise children.

How many children do you have and what is your support system like?

Do you think this support system is more needed now that women work and are expected to juggle everything?

Not much support here, very little I guess.

We have 2 DC aged 4 and 1. I work part-time, DH FT.

We use nursery for the days I work, plus one more for the 4yo so I can have a day with just the 1yo to get the food shop dont etc.

My parents are involved in terms of having a great relationship with my children, and they would always look after them if we asked for a day every few months but there's never been any commitment to doing a weekly day of childcare or anything like that.

DH's parents aren't together, his mum has mental health issues and his dad is someone we only see a handful of days a year so the kids down know them well enough to be able to even ask for a day,

I am a bit bitter about it, only because friends have managed to save loads of money through having help. And it seems that they also have nights away etc whereas that is totally out of the question for us.

I never realised this would be a thing until I had my own children and I can say with certainty I will be helping my own children out when they have GC!

Two kids, no support. It's fine now as they're teens, but it was effing hard core when they were little, and dh worked (still works) months away at a time.

We've got nothing. I made a lot of mum friends through playgroups and early school but as my DS's special needs became more obvious, it became harder and harder, our kids no longer had anything in common and our friendships drifted.
Now he goes to school in a taxi miles away and I know no one there.
Grandparents are dead and we have no other extended family unfortunately. (Apart from an uncle in his 80's miles away) It's very isolating.

One child, age 6

DH works very long hours but is hands on when he is here. DH’s mum lives locally and is helpful.

No wider village

I have been disappointed in my own parents since I became a mum . They don’t live locally so I wouldn’t expect them to help regularly but for example when I go and stay they aren’t hands on and I certainly don’t get to do stuff like go out while they babysit, like most people seem to .

I’m disappointed with DH’s sister who lives 5 minutes away and has never once offered to babysit / take DC to the park / invited DC to her house to play for 5 minutes. Gutted for DC as much as anything else. Let’s just say if SIL has kids herself in the future I won’t be queueing up to join her “village”…….

Yes, I made about 20 mum friends through playgroups etc and we have a WhatsApp group. We live in a small community so see each other multiple times through the week (not everyone at once unless we organise a big get together) We drop messages on the chat to see who's around and meet up at the park and arrange play dates and coffee mornings and so on. There's always at least one person around to meet up with if you want to every day. I love it.

No, literally just me and DC. No one else to rely on for the last six years. No contact with EA XH. Family not close enough to assist.

I have one son, he is now 12. My village is my parents and in-laws who have provided childcare since I went back to work full time when he was 13 months old. They also have him overnight when we go out. They each have taken him away on holidays with them a couple of times a year. Other members of my village are my sister and my sister in law. We have lots of relatives on both sides who he is very close to because he has been around them lots and so in the event of an emergency I know there are lots of people who could step up if we needed emergency childcare - not so much needed now that he is of an age that he doesn't need 'minding'.

Our next door neighbours are very close to us and have a grandson the same age and he has often been found to their house for a few hours to play when we've had errands to do and that's been repaid in return.

How many children do you have?

I have my very hands on parents, the nursery, great friends to do play dates with who also give me lots of hand me downs and advice. The baby's father isn't a help except I get a day off to do chores and a bit of me time during the weekend