Dentist issues with DD

[Theamofm]

Hi, DD never had a fear of dentist, been going since she had teeth. She's now 8. In March she needed a filling in a grown up tooth. I was scared she wouldn't have the needle but she did, all good I was happy...until...she refused the suction to dry her mouth! Now I'm pretty such she's had that before at some point, she must have! So she didn't have the filling!! Went back a month later to try and again and she barely got in the seat at all, so no filling again! The temporary one has now fallen out and the dentist has agreed to try again but how do I get it through to my DD that she will have toothache permanently if she doesn't do it! The dentist have already referred her to district but the waiting list is 2 years long. I've phoned private dentists but they won't do inhalation sedation on children so I'm literally stuck! What am I supposed to do? Anyone been through the same? When I try to talk to her about it she just cries and says she's scared, but of what? Nothing bad has ever happened for her to be scared of the dentist, and I do believe fear comes from an experience so what else can it be? Oh btw after the last non filling we ban sweets and it hasn't bothered her one bit! Help!

Fear comes from many things

children pick up parents and families anxiety and fear
loss of control , new sensations can cause fear
fear of the unknown

the problem is each negative experience just reinforces the fear , even if nothing particularly unpleasant happened.

Don’t reinforce the negative (if you don’t have the filling the tooth will be painful and have to come out ) reinforce the positive (won’t you feel happy when this tooth is fixed) . This is a good overview of dental anxiety in children https://happykidsdental.co.uk/news/dentist-calm-nervous-children/

It’s important even if they don’t have the filling they keep going to keep them used to the dentist.

There are private dentists who will inhalation sedation for children many are in London eg Tooth beary if you Google paediatric dentist or dentist providing RA (relative analgesia) that may help to find someone, ask your dentist if they know a private provider.

In terms of diet you are looking at making sure that nothing sugary is eaten or drunk more than three times a day . It doesn’t matter what they eat or drink at meals times , but inbetween meals, even if it’s just a sip , or bite it has to be not sugary or starchy. So only plain water or milk inbetween meals , watch out for grazing on foods even things like yoghurts, granola bars , raisins , smoothies , fruit juice , biscuits , etc . Especially, even if they brush teeth afterwards, nothing to eat or drink just before bed apart from plain water or milk.

Is the tooth bothering her? Is she in pain?
How bad is the cavity? Is it deep or just a tiny hole? Did they give you this information?

If it’s tiny you could look into remineralising the tooth in an attempt to heal the problem. It is possible provided the hole is just small.
There is loads of information online about it but essentially it involves avoiding all foods/drinks that would further decay the tooth and eating lots of nourishing things that can potentially heal it as well as using a toothpaste containing hydroxyapatite and other things like sugar free gum to create saliva which helps heal. There are other ways too but off the top of my head I can’t bring them to mind as it’s a while since I did it with my child.

The tooth has cavitated ie it has a hole in it large enough to need a temporary filling.
Although all these things , and most particularly changing the diet, are important to stop further decay once a tooth has cavitated it cannot be healed, it needs a filling.