Leaving 2 older kids and 10 month old baby for 3 nights with in laws

[Zaynab2945]

Hi all.
So we have 3 kids 9,7 and 9 months. My sister in law has been asking me for a while leave the baby with me for a couple of days so you can have a break ( I think she also wants to look after baby as my baby girl is the only baby in the family, the youngest child our family is my son who is 7 so baby girl is absolutely spoilt by everyone.
I've had a hard time, had a very hard delivery and straight into everything after given birth, baby is quite a difficult baby but we now at 9 months have found out baby girl has cows milk allergy so she is now getting better and sleeping better after stopping dairy and changing her formula but I have had such a hard time this time around and haven't slept in 9 months or had a break.

Soon it's mine and my husbands 10 year wedding anniversary, we had our first child 11 months after getting married and I was pregnant with our first 3 months after we got married so we've never had a chance to do anything like this and never had time to ourselves.
A couple of weeks ago my sister in law and brother in law kept telling dh that we should go for a break away abroad or wherever we feel like it and they would look after our kids. For context we are a small but very close family, we are together almost every single weekend and I have looked after my sister in laws kids so much for days at a time throughout the years because we love each others kids.
My sister in laws kids are 16,15 and 8.
Me and my husband have been looking at a weekend break away next month at the end of August when baby girl will be 10 and a half months old.
We want to go to morroco from Friday morning and coming back Monday after noon so only 3 nights and coming back on the 4th day.

I'm completely OK wirh leaving the older 2 because I've left them with my sister in law before, and My sister in law is like another mum to them and looks after them extremely well and cares for them like her own so I know in my heart they are always looked after and my baby girl will be too but I am just so worried,
I know she will be absolutely fine but I am worried about judgement from my mother in law ( she still lives abroad) I'm worried she will start saying how can she leave her baby so young or thinking I'm a bad mum etc.

I know I should be happy I have lovely in laws who have told me to go and have a break and who want and love to take care of my children and I know they will be looked after.

What would you do? We have found a resort and flights for those 3 days but we haven't booked yet as we need to confirm those dates with sister in law although she's said a couple of days ago it will be no issue at all. I keep putting off booking it because I'm feeling guilty that it makes me a bad mum leaving the kids. I do think it will be good for me and Dh as we have never had time like this together before but I think what I'm worried about is judgement and if it is the right thing leaving baby so young.

Aibu? Go or not go?

You don’t need permission from MIL (if you have even anticipated her view correctly). You’re clearly happy with it and if your dp is too then that’s all that matters.

Maybe as you're leaving her for the first time, you could do just one night away (in a lovely hotel in the UK) and plan a longer trip for next year? It's up to you though - no judgment at all if you decide to go.

Allowing a potential reaction from your mother-in-law to control your life is just crazy. Stop caring what other people think, especially when you're not doing anything wrong.

Absolutely go!! I know it's easier said than done, but try and remember that MILs opinion of you is none of your business. Presumably the only people she's going to express these opinions to (apart from you) are people in her home country (who you won't be bumping into) and the SIL who has offered to have them (who obviously thinks it's fine!)

Did you post about this over the weekend?
If not, there is a very similar thread with lots of comments.

Personally, I'd give it a go, but not fly abroad. Go to the next nice town / nearest seeside / and have a break there the first time you try this. Then if there is a problem, you can come home.

Flying abroad means you gave to be 100% sure it will be ok.

Personally I wouldn’t want to be apart from a baby of that age. They can’t understand or reason that their main caregivers will be returning. So I do see your MILs point.