How on earth do I get DS to sleep in his crib?

[SunshineLollipops9]

My DS is almost 7 weeks old (very little I know). Birth to 2 weeks he was a dream! He basically fed, changed or had a cuddle and then settled in his Moses basket. Slept 2-3 hourly at night. I had a very difficult first born who you couldn’t put down for a second until 5 weeks when he slept in his crib for a few hours. He was an awful sleeper until 2.5, so thought this baby was going to be easy from birth…until he stopped being so content.

I know all about the 4th trimester but my 3.5 year old is barely getting any time with me and I feel so guilty and like I’m failing as a mum. Even a few hours in his crib would help. I’ve been co-sleeping this time out of desperation, but I hate it and barely sleep due to worrying. Here is what I’ve tried so far:

-love to dream swaddle bag - likes this for sleeping in my bed. Does nothing for the crib sleeping.
-warming his mattress
-white noise & pink noise
-putting one side of the crib up slightly
-singing, rubbing back, stroking head, hand on tummy.
-bum to mattress first to try and avoid startle reflex
-Putting him down fast asleep, sleepy but awake.
-Wearing his bedsheet for a while so it smells like me.

Literally nothing works. I don’t want to be co-sleeping for god knows how many months because I just don’t feel safe doing it. I don’t know what else to try. Do they just do it eventually or is there some magic trick I haven’t tried?

please be kind. I already feel so awful about it 😞

This might not be super helpful but you’re not doing anything wrong, some babies just are more clingy (mine certainly was). She did sleep in the crib eventually, maybe take a break then try again in a week. All the techniques you’re trying are good ones (although I never had success with drowsy but awake).

If you’re feeling anxious about co-sleeping read up on the safe sleep 7 - if you are following those rules I think the risks are really minimal. Sometimes it’s the only way for anyone to get any sleep! We ended up co sleeping a lot which was never my plan but became a survival method!

Mine never went down drowsy but awake, we had to rock her until absolutely sound asleep floppy, then increeeedibly slowly and carefully lower her in. It got easier over time.

I was right here about a month ago. I coslept until we was getting some decent sleep each night and then just had another go at the cot again attached to the bed so still next to me. This was around10 weeks I think. And somehow I’m no longer cosleeping. I honestly thought she would be in my bed for months at the time and I hated it. I think for us we had to manage little ones reflux symptoms but what I’m trying to say is- don’t look too far ahead, just focus on the next few days at a time and getting some sleep however you can. Follow the safe sleeping guidance until then as I’m sure you are. Sending solidarity your way !

Just keep trying OP, and your newborn will get there.
Our DC2 slept well in her Moses basket for the first two weeks. Then we had a few weeks where she would hardly sleep in it at all. But we kept trying and she got there. Since then, she's actually been a better sleeper than DC1, which I fully ascribe to luck/her temperament and not us as parents.

Be patient. All children are ready for independent sleep when they are ready. Certainly none of my 4 did it at 7 weeks! DC4 was very happy in her cot from about 8 weeks, but the other three.... well one of them actually never did sleep in her cot, a kept her soft toys there! At 7 weeks all sleeps with her were contact sleeps.

Be patient. This won't last forever, but you can't tell how long so it's soul destroying thinking it's always just around the corner. It will happen when it happens! You sound like you're trying lots of things to encourage it.

Your eldest will be fine. They will adjust. It all becoems easier for them as their sibling becomes more fun and starts smiling/reaching for them.

Congratulations on your new baby ❤️ I have no idea how to get babies to sleep in cribs (my now 4 year old didn't until she was 1ish and my 9 month old isn't a fan yet). I can recommend a baby carrier / stretchy wrap though - then baby can sleep cuddled up to you but you'll have both hands free to play with your 3.5 year old.
Be very kind to yourself and just do what you can xx

Listen to his rhythms, babies have different ones depending on what time of day they were born. But generally you can get a baby to sleep through the night by 4-5 months old. My longstanding family’s advice is to not feed during the night, leave baby to cry for a short period of time (up to 5 minutes) and if still crying, talk to them, cuddle, walk, distract, re diaper, but do not feed. Feeding times are for day times only.

• a small note though, for those mollycoddler mothers here, who are about to attack me: I’m from the continent and the entire Europe does it this way. Our children sleep through the nights, just like they did 50,70,100 years ago.

Thank you for all your replies.

The last 4 nights he has slept in his crib for 3-4 hours and I haven’t changed anything, he must have just got used to it. He will only sleep with his love to dream swaddle, hopefully once his startle reflex settles down he will sleep a bit better too :)