trichotillomania hair pulling and skin picking

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Hi my son is 10 last summer I noticed he had ripped out his eye lashes and eyebrows. I was turkey devastated. Before this he was picking scabs but to the point making big scabs from tiny pimples on his arms.

They all grew back and for last few months been good. I have noticed a few scabs but today I've just noticed a huge bald patch on his eye brows.

I got upset and shouted why would you do that again. In a devastating way but he stormed off and said leave him alone.

I am worried it's all my fault I have my own issues I think I'm autistic or adhd. My cousins daughter picked her brows and eyelashes out.

What am I to do. I love my children so much it breaks my heart.

I suffer from trich and my main advice would be try and be patient and not lose your temper with him. He will already be feeling so much shame already and not understanding why he’s having the compulsion to do it - he really does just need your support. Not trying to kick you whilst you’re down at all, I know this must be so hard for see and understand. If I can help at all, please feel free to message me, I’ve been a sufferer for nearly 30 years and was diagnosed at your son’s age.
I also want to reassure you that this will absolutely not be your fault, please don’t blame yourself. Try and get him along to a doctor if you can, it’s so much more recognised now with more info available.

No I get it. I suffer from ocd and have little things like I pull my hair out but it's on my head. It's hard to explain I struggle to sit still.

I've said sorry to him I said I wasn't angry it was more shock. And I talked about what might trigger it.

He's running around with his sister now. Happy as can be.

I'm just not sure what to do. I suggested speaking to a councillor and he begged not too. I go to counselling and love it. But he was begging no.

I don't no what to do.

Sort your parenting.

Then get CBT for your son for the trich.

You can get sensory toys that are supposed to help with picking, squishy stuff with little beads in that you pick out and can melt it and reform to do it again, might be worth looking into.

Yes you need something he can do instead, tell him when you feel the urge to do that do this instead, it won't stop it instantly, but the more he tries the easier it will get. He needs to catch himself starting to do it and replace the behaviour with something less destructive, easier said than done.

I suffer with this and I hate it and wish I could stop. Being shamed for it or shouted at doesn't help it just makes me feel even worse. I'm still looking for strategies to help stop it but it's so tough and a horrible condition to deal with. People don't understand, I don't exactly enjoy making my scalp bleed and red raw, I cannot help it and I am trying to stop but I do it without even noticing.

If you pull your own hair out and haven't been able to stop then I can't see your shock and outrage that your son is struggling tbh

My DD struggles with this, but lately we've found that "picky pads" really help! We were both very sceptical but she gave them a try and loves them. Just search for them on Amazon or similar, there's lot's of different options.

I understand the frustration when you've spent so long trying to help them to stop and their skin is just recovering when they start again 😔

I've suffered with dermatillomania since my teens and echo previous posters saying shouting and telling off is the worst thing to do. It can already feel shameful as it is
I would suggest gently offering a distraction if you see him actually doing it. Personally I struggled until I started taking medication for my anxiety but appreciate that's not applicable here due to his age. Loads of reassurance and not making a big deal out of it might help.

I suffer with this and during my teens it was awful because my mother constantly drew attention to it which I found really humiliating.
I’m guessing that these days it is a recognisable medical condition with the possibility of treatment, whether that’s medication or CBT etc. So maybe get your son a GP appt and try not to shame him in the meantime.