Not potty trained at 2.5

[Hiiiiio]

Should I be concerned ? Hes getting grasps. He knows we go ‘poo poo ‘ and ‘wee wee’ on the toilet

however

• he won’t sit on the loo
• only sits on potty with nappy on/pants on
• absoloutely kicks off and gets worked up if we suggest no pants on potty etc
• will sometimes say he’s doing something but not often
• we normally can tell he’s pooed by smell he lately hasn’t told us this much :(

am I doing. Shit job? Should he be no nappies now???

MIL keeps casing us when she comes to visit (every other week for half an hour. lol) and it’s annoying me because she’s turning it to my son now keeps saying oh sit on your potty do you need to go to the potty etc

It’s doesn’t sound as if he’s ready for potty training yet. That’s ok, he’s only 2.5 so plenty of time. My dd potty trained when she was 3, she wasn’t ready before.

Lots of kids aren't yet trained at 2.5. I don't think you need to be worried. I would personally have a firm word with MIL and ask her to stop meddling as some kids back right off from the idea if people are overprompting and stressing them about it. I would wait for a weekend when you're free with no distractions and not much pressure and try to ditch the nappies, but if it isn't clicking no bother and park it again for a few weeks. I wouldn't be too stressed about it personally until closer to 3. My daughter trained super easily around her second birthday but my son was very resistant and was nearer to 3. When he decided he was willing he did it really quickly and easily. They all get there!

2,5 is so little OP. He will get it in time.

My two boys did it at 3y 6m and 3y 4m. They weren't ready before that.

I think it’s because he’s got a cousin who is a few month younger so MiL constantly compares the 2 (which is annoying)

but this cousin is the youngest of 3 kids so has older siblings too to look up to

i thought it’d be a gradual thing ? And we had a new baby not long ago so I didn’t want to try it then as it’s a stressful process and even nursery said big events like moving house or new baby’s don’t go well with potty training it can stress the child out

is there anything I can do to help him not be so upset at the thought of the potty sans pants ?

he doesn’t seem to hate it with pants on (and nappy)

We just (mostly) potty trained our son at 33 months. He just wasn't ready for it before when we tried. He would just wee in his pants and not care at all. Bribery didn't work.

This time when we did it, he just took to it straight away. A whole day naked below the waist with zero accidents. Then we introduced pants the next day and he had one or two accidents. By day four he was taking himself completely independently when he needed to go with the odd accident. We're now average one or two accidents a week for wees and that includes being out the house for hours or being at nursery doing fun things.

My point is that it really is true that when they're ready, it's minimal work. We just tried it on a whim this time and it worked, but I wouldn’t have been worried if it had taken another year or so until he was ready.

He's still very little. Mine were 3 and 7 months (trying from 2.5 which was utterly pointless) and 3 and 6months (cracked it in a week because he was ready)
It's such a stressful time and unless they are actually ready you just stress them and yourself out

My DS is 3y and 3mth and has only been fully potty trained for about 4months. I was stressing like you when he was 2.5y too. I got baby shark sticker chart and he was rewarded with putting a sticker on the chart every time he used the potty which was good as an incentive.
I also used to sit near him saying "is itttt cominggggg?" When I'd go super excited like ahh it's coming and he'd get excited too and would just do it then we'd clap and high 5 and make a big fuss about it.
It took a while but I'd now say he's fully trained. Although he won't always tell me when he wants a wee or poo I have to watch for cues like when he's pinching his willy or holding his bum / doing the wee wee wiggle we call it
Don't worry op he will get it. Plus I think boys are slower to get it then girls from what I hear x

🫣🫣🫣

unpopular opinion: gradual is harder and he is able to tell you and is probably ready you just need to commit.

also ignore your MIL. it’s just background noise tune it out. She sounds like an unhelpful arsehole in regards to this.

We used oh crap!
I read the book and then just said today is no nappies and then I had possibly the most intense tiring rollercoastery 72hrs of my life and then after 4 more days we were pretty much done! (We did it with our 2y2m old a couple of months ago)
She was ready, but it was not minimal work in the short term! watching a kids crotch like a hawk for 3 days is exhausting.

what I will say is the book is helpful about the topic of fear… particularly the toilet and pooping! It’s also really Normal for toddlers to get constipated and be weird around poo even after you’ve nailed weeing in the potty.

we played about with a couple types of potty’s, steps and toilet seats until we hit on what she was into.

the book is very clear post 30m ish training gets a lot harder. anecdotally amongst my friends I’ve seen this bourne out so I would really try and find time to just get it done.

My son isn't yet either
My eldest also potty trained just two months before he turned three and only took him four days because he was ready
Honestly it's not a big deal and nobody should be judging you
I wouldn't put tons of pressure on unless there's a specific reason ie needing to be toilet trained for a school nursery

My first didn't master it till he was 3.

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it, he's still young. The thing is if you start pushing it too much and forcing him to sit on the potty he could get really anxious about it or become stubborn and then you could end up with a load of issues like withholding poo. 80% of potty training is the child being on board with it and agreeing to try, being interested in wearing big boy pants etc. I waited until my DDs were ready and they were both trained completely dry no accidents within 5 days and it wasn't stressful at all. One was 2.5 exactly and the other had just turned 3.

If he's not ready, he's not ready.

I was originally planning on starting potty training my first at 2yr6mo. That plan was then shelved as I was due with my second at the same time. As I was then busy with a newborn, we didn't start until 2yr10/11mo. And it was incredibly easy. She'd practically cracked it by the second day. Had a few accidents over the years since, but nothing major. Still not dry at night at nearly 5, but that's hormonal and will hopefully come in time.

I'll probably do the same with my son (currently 2yr4mo) and attempt training shortly before 3. But if he's resistant, I won't be too stressed about it. Especially as it will be wintertime as well.

It's really not necessary. They will do it by themselves before 4. Take the pressure off yourself

Sounds like he's beginning to be ready. What training are you actually doing with him? Has he read a book about potty training? (My son loved Pirate Pete, but I'm sure there are others)

Ignore your MIL and just keeping talking about the potty, with no pressure attached to it. I really focused on preparation before committing to the actual training, which worked wonders when it came time. I followed Amanda Jenner's Potty Training Magic.

Right now, take a step back and keep things light. If he wants to sit on the potty with a nappy, let him. If he gets upset, back off. Nothing will progress if he's stressing himself out over it.

Thanks for all the advice! Hes my
first the eldest of our 2 babies so potty training is all new to me and DH

Indid think when I was pregnant that around having a new baby isn’t a good idea and I think now our youngest is a few months old we can just add things into day to day life to get him used to it like a book?

we:

• have a potty, have it out encourage use
• take him to the toilet with us, tell him what we’re doing. Show him flushing and wash our hands afterwards
• speak about toilet and poo/wee positively
• when he poo’s we go to the toilet and flush it down the loo and he says bye bye poo (tip from HV)

so maybe even in a month or two he’ll be less nervous and want to do it! I do worry about giving him toilet fear so don’t want to chase him or force him

MIL is just so unhelpful and compares DS to his cousin all the time. Winds me up.

My girl is 2.5yrs, ww have recently got a potty and 2 books, one is Hey Duggee Potty Badge, but she's not ready. She doesn't know when she needs to pee or poo yet. She'll sometimes say "potty" and pull her nappy down after doing a poo.

I'm not worried - she isn't ready. I only bought the potty so she can sit on it occasionally and is used to it when she's ready

One of my nephews didn't crack it until 4 and a few months before starting school

I you were washing terry nappies by hand, he would be trained by now.