Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

How to get over mum guilt whilst pregnant with second?

2 replies

Begaydocrime94 · 13/07/2024 20:23

Hi all, my daughter is 7, almost 8 and I’m pregnant with another little girl. Yay! Life has been pretty manic since we got pregnant and in between full time work, selling two houses and purchase of one (and we’re in a chain of 7) and the pregnancy I feel really guilty about being a bad mum for my 7 year old. I love her so much but my mood swings, stress and exhaustion in this pregnancy have been overwhelming. After the school run, club drops off, the mental load and admin (school trips, teacher presents, club slips, birthday party planning) I feel like I have nothing to give her. I tell her I love her every day, read with her before bed but I feel like outside of that I’m just letting her go on her tablet pretty much all day and have zero energy to change that at the moment. My partner helps but it’s more our mum daughter relationship that I’m scared of losing. We say we love each other all the time but it’s when she’s asking me stuff and I can barely hold a conversation with her. It’s like I’ve got the energy for all the basics but once we’re home she’ll go on her tablet and I’ll go into the bath on my phone to destress and that’s it :( I just feel like a crap mum. I want to be a fun jokey mum but she’s asking me stuff and I just don’t have it in me to be silly etc. I don’t even know what I’m looking for by posting- maybe that this is normal?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Mumof3onetwothree · 13/07/2024 22:57

She is going to love the baby! Similar age gap here and it's been so nice....they love each other and play so much even though the little one is only 1. It's a tough stage for you being pregnant but it's going to be so fun for her....all will be worth it! I wouldn't worry about the screen time. You're in survival mode, it'll pass eventually! Best of luck!

gentlemum · 14/07/2024 18:04

I completely understand the guilt, and unfortunately it doesn't go away when baby arrives either as you still don't have as much time or energy for the eldest! See it as a temporary phase and rather than try to focus not being fun/silly all the time could you have some dedicated one on one time when you're feeling a bit more energised, maybe first thing in the morning at weekends if that's when you're feeling at your best? And have some quality time together and try and keep that up when baby arrives. You will absolutely not lose your mum daughter relationship!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page