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Is fighting ever acceptable?

26 replies

Falcon09 · 12/07/2024 01:11

My son (age 11)was punched today in the park over a game of football. He retaliated and punched back resulting in him breaking his hand. I’m horrified, but I also feel sorry for the amount of pain he is in.

His dad, my ex, praised my son for hitting back and standing up for himself and I can’t get my head round this at all.

I worry about how quickly his temper can escalate. We don’t have any problems at school but I see him reacting outside of school quickly to comments and jibes and can’t seem to find a way to install in him that fighting is not the way forward. Especially as his dad is telling him to show no weakness and punch back immediately when hit first. I do believe he doesn’t start a fight but meets it quickly when it confronts him.

How do you get your sons to avoid fighting without leaving them open to being a target? What tools do you have as coping mechanisms for confrontation? Am I over reacting and are boys just boys and the occasional fight will break out where sport is involved and competition is high. As a female it’s hard to understand.

OP posts:
snakewillow · 12/07/2024 12:47

I've always told my DC to never start a fight and if it's possible to walk away from one then they should. However, some people will have a fight whether you join in or not and in that case they should absolutely defend themselves.

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