Ideas and tips to encourage limited screen usage for children

[Iampondering]

(First of all can I preface this by saying that it is my own PERSONAL opinion, and if you don’t agree, that is of course fine, and perhaps this is not the thread for you.)

I wondered if there are any other parents out there looking in dismay at the obsession with screens for our children, whether that be tablets / phones / tv / gaming, and want to try to minimise it at all stages as their children grow up. Children in their prams watching their parents phones, with a tablet at a restaurant, on TikTok at 10 etc.

It’s still early days for us, DD is about to turn 6 so we haven’t navigated phones or gaming yet! About 3 years ago she was obsessed with the TV, and asked for it all the time.

However now I genuinely can’t think of the last time she watched it, which I love and want to continue as much as possible as she grows up. It’s her choice, she never asks. But I suppose we have tried to discourage screens subtly, she has no tablet, doesn’t use our phones etc.

I wondered if there were any other parents out there, possibly with older children who have managed to find a good balance with technology and has any advice as they grow up? As I appreciate that things are going to get MUCH harder in this respect!

I love that now she wants to play, run around, talk, interact… and I’d love that to continue.

I am also interested OP as our kids are younger (4 and 2) but do not use hand held screens yet and would hope to keep this going for as long as we can. the eldest watches some tv but the youngest isn't interested. We used to use tv on a phone for our eldest at times we had to wait - car, doctor, cafe. but haven't done this for a couple of years and will actively avoid as much as possible now. We did a 5hr each way car journey in April with no screens and will be attempting to continue this in the car.

to avoid using them we

• don't allow them to use our phone and they just don't ask for it
• they won't get a tablet until they are much older / as long as possible - difficult as many of eldests friends have their own tablet
• they each have a yoto player
• for long car journeys I pack lots of little drawstring bags of different activities - duplo, animal figures, pens. Also lots of ideas on Pinterest for screen free travel ideas
• spend as much time as possible outdoors, cycling, swimming, at the park, etc.

recently listened to the Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt and he talks a lot about the move from a play based childhood to a phone based childhood. really interesting

oh one other thing is we use our phones around them as little as possible - we use if needed eg maps, call or message someone, but not to scroll / to fill time. So I guess modelling healthy screen use.

Don’t buy her a tablet… by age 6 or 7 a lot of kids will have their own (often a kindle/kids specific one rather than iPad but still). If she starts nagging you for one then say no.

When she does watch tv or iPad or whatever consider only letting her watch live tv rather than on demand. One of the reasons I think it’s so addictive is that they can watch whatever they want whenever they want. Likewise say no to YouTube. ie when you do allow screens make them a bit boring. But don’t ban them completely otherwise they will become the forbidden fruit that is highly tempting.

If there are characters she likes from tv shows then let her engage with them in other ways. My eldest is obsessed with Gabbys doll house 😒 and my middle one loves peppa pig. I let them both have some toys from the series and also sometimes get them colouring or activity books with Peppa/Gabby on etc. I didn’t use to do this as I didn’t like all the marketing and the tat but actually when my middle one plays Peppa pig with her characters she’s not watching the tv or even asking for it. She also has some books and she enjoys the characters and the stories without the screen.

Model not having screens yourself. Put your phone away, don’t watch tv, let her see you reading books.

Oh also I agree with the yoto, we used to take an iPad on long journeys and now the older two both use their travel yotos instead. Again you can get them cards from their favourite characters, we have peppa pig and frozen cards as well as songs from Encanto and Moana etc. But no screens! In fact I think my eldest has listened to the Encanto songs far more than she’s watched the actual film.

We have started having weekly 'screen free days'. It's strict- I don't even glance at my phone for the time! Does everyone some good I think.

Have never used screens to entertain the kids while out and about/ restaurants etc and never will.

Giving them their own screens then endlessly arguing about screentime seems a futile approach.

Get a family laptop for schoolwork.

It's not necessarily going to get harder, you just don't buy it and you yourself model not using it.

What you do need to do though is ensure they can use it, making sure they can type properly and use common software. This doesn't have to be in the home but can be at an extra curricular clubs where it stays.

Access to age appropriate games consoles and games at a gaming cafe etc means that it remains a treat and an out of the house event, but also that they can join in when friends start talking about them too and have similar shared experiences.

I agree, social media and screen time scrolling is going to and is the biggest cause of trouble for our young generation.

As others have said, we model good behaviours by not scrolling or having our phones or screens while our DS is around.

Don't buy an iPad or phone to get them started in the first place

Activities . We pack them in, that way there is no time for tv.
He has never used my phone. The only problem was a tablet. When he started school all the homework was online and he did struggle compared to his peers but has since caught up.

Thanks all,
Lots of great ideas here.
Yes absolutely no to a tablet. Grandma wanted to buy one when she was 2 and we are still saying no 4 years later!
We have a Tonie box that she loves, though we do let her borrow a tablet for a film on drives that are 3 hours plus (very rare.)
Tv when she gets it is bbc player or a film, I find some of the stuff I've seen on "kids" YouTube absolutely abhorrent!

Mine are 11 & 8 and I don't think it gets harder! Mine have had minimal access to personal screens (ipads, etc). They watch a bit of TV each day, but not until the late afternoon/ early evening. They share a Switch and that was a bit tricky to regulate at the beginning, but we've figured our way through it and it's easier now. They sometimes get a bit of time on that, but not every day. They both have access to an ipad, but only use them to look up specific things (e.g. crafting videos for DD), and have to ask to use them. Neither watches stuff like YouTube. No screens in bedrooms.

The 11 yo isn't getting a smart phone, and won't until they're 14. No social media until they're 16 (if they even want it by then). We got them a Nokia for starting secondary (as did a lot of the other parents). Take a look at the 'smartphone free childhood' grassroots movement. It's taken off in the past few months and I think by the time your kids are 10 or 11 it will no longer be the norm to give kids that age smart phones or access to social media.

It actually gets easier, in a way, to navigate as they get older as you can have proper conversations with them about the pros and cons of screens and they're sometimes more rational and even logical.