When did you start to enjoy parenting?

[DontYouStartMadam]

I love my son but I am worn out by him. He’s 3, bright, clever, funny, very empathetic, loving, helpful when he wants to. He is also a handful, very defiant, cries and collapses at the drop of a hat, excruciatingly shy, breaks down when he doesn’t get his way. He’s always had tantrums but recently he’s started screaming, hitting me and hitting himself the split second things don’t go his way.

I thought by now things would be a bit more smooth sailing but he’s more volatile than ever. He has lovely moments that are slowly increasing in frequency but as mum I get the heaviest helping of very difficult behaviour. I beat myself up and blame myself all the time for his challenges and feel guilty for feeling this way. I’m very grateful I only have one child as there’s no way I could do this again. I'm always daydreaming of the future hoping for when I'll have my life back. He’s on the waitlist for an ADHD/autism assessment. I guess I’m just wanting to hear from other parents who’ve wanted to take a solo rocket trip to the moon, several times a week 🥲 And wanting to know if/when it got better for them.

So sorry you're struggling @DontYouStartMadam. Have you found the SN Section yet? There are lots of lovely supportive MNers in there

@RappersNeedChapstick thank you, I will have a look over there :)

My boy was an extremely active, headstrong and tricky infant and child from 1-10

I think when they begin school their emotions ease up a little from the toddler/pre-school stage as they are too exhausted after 5pm! They also start the process of conforming - albiet very very slowly in my sons case and he still has a way to go! Obvs I don't want him to be sheep or blindly do what he's told, but to at least keep under the radar and not be disruptive/argumentative would be great

Saying that - I have found the easiest stage of all, began at age 11/12, and it's got easier every year for the last 4 so far.

I'm not sure there's much you can do except be patient and see it as a long, long phase!

@ThePotholeHelpdesk thanks for your reply. I'm glad you're enjoying things now, you've waited a long time. That's my hope, that school will teach him that there are rules to life and I'm not just being mean mummy for enforcing boundaries. 10/11, well only 7-8 years to go 🥲

I've found it's gradually got easier every year. Mine is nearly 7 now and we've had a lovely day today together absolutely no dramas. She has her moments don't get me wrong and it's still hard and a bit relentless however when I think back to even a couple of years ago and even more so to age 3 omg it is miles better and easier.

@Shiningout thanks for your reply. Yes it can be hard to notice a difference when it's so relentless every day but taking time to think of a few years ago definitely helps contrast things.