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Parenting

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DS7 suddenly scared

6 replies

Alwaysraining · 10/07/2024 18:41

My DS(7) is suddenly scared of being alone. He wont be in a room alone, go upstairs alone and just follows me around. He's also very clingy whenever I need to leave and will cuddle me until I have to peel him off.
DH is wonderful but he has a condition which has massively impacted his mobility and he's in constant pain so temper is a bit shorter than normal and he obviously can't help as much.

Bedtime is now a nightmare as we have tears and tantrums when I try to leave his room. He just holds onto me getting more and more upset.

This has never been an issue before! I've spoken to him loads about it, explained he's safe, that he's a big lad and I need to do other things, that I need to help daddy etc. I've asked him why he's suddenly scared and he just says his brain is making him scared.

I vaguely remember being like this as a child but my dad was very strict and wouldn't entertain any nonsense. I do have GAD and take medication for it but I don't know if that's linked at all. I'm just worried now that it is linked and that if I do what my dad did, DS will end up the same.

I just don't know what to do! Nothing has happened, nothing has really changed other than DHs condition but that's been building for a few years and an upcoming operation will help loads. Tbh, DS seems largely unfazed by all that so I don't think it's linked.

OP posts:
RappersNeedChapstick · 10/07/2024 20:01

Do you think it could be DH's temper combined with the anxiety over the upcoming operation?

I had a very angry Parent and it's easy to underestimate the damage that can do to a child.

Maybe take him somewhere neutral and reassure him over DH and any worries DS might have and talk to DH to see if he can start to control his temper better.

CatamaranViper · 10/07/2024 20:05

RappersNeedChapstick · 10/07/2024 20:01

Do you think it could be DH's temper combined with the anxiety over the upcoming operation?

I had a very angry Parent and it's easy to underestimate the damage that can do to a child.

Maybe take him somewhere neutral and reassure him over DH and any worries DS might have and talk to DH to see if he can start to control his temper better.

DH isn't angry, his temper is just shorter than normal. He does the odd snap where he didn't before but he often just removes himself if he feels wound up. I really don't think it's that. When I've asked DS how he feels about the op he seems perfectly fine about it all. We've been quite open about what's happening and it's an op similar to a knee replacement.
He's even been to the hospital for one of DHs pre op scans and the drs spoke with him about it. He's really not fussed.

I only really mentioned it to explain why DH isn't able to help so much at the moment

NRmumma · 11/06/2025 03:11

Hi

just wondering if you found anything that helped your DS / did it go away or improve on its own?

my DS (4) has just started being exactly like this in the last 2 weeks. He’s absolutely terrified of being alone, won’t go to sleep without me and even then fights it and now the last few nights is up multiple times a night coming to our room and I have to sit with him for ages until he falls asleep (and inevitably comes back down shortly after).

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MidnightScroller · 11/06/2025 04:05

Has he been watching anything lately that might’ve spooked him? Could be a developmental stage where his imagination is running away with him - my DS had similar at that age but grew out of it c. 10.

NRmumma · 11/06/2025 07:19

the only scary thing he’s ever watched was monsters inc but that was last summer.. I suppose it could be affecting him now but otherwise he watches really babyish shows still like peppa pig

MuggleMe · 11/06/2025 07:23

It's developmentally normal at age 7.

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