Getting rid of dummy

[H930]

Hi all,

My DS2 is 13 months old and I’d like to stop giving him his dummy. He has it for sleep and sometimes during awake time if he gets upset. He absolutely loves it and is very reliant on it, to the extent that if he sees one on the kitchen worktop or something he becomes obsessed with getting hold of it.

My DS1 also had a dummy which he loved, but when we decided to stop it was just one night where he cried for a while and then slept through, and never seemed to think about it again! However I think we might be in different territory with DS2 and I’m worried it’ll be awful.

The dummy is really affecting his teeth though so we’ve got to bite the bullet and do it.

He does have some soft toys which he adores and cuddles in bed, so hopefully they will help. But does anyone have any tips to make it easier?? Or any experience as to how long it will take for him to forget the dummy??

Thank you for reading!

Honestly I’d wait. I doubt it could be affecting his teeth that badly at 13 months unless he has it constantly. 13 months would be a terrible time to remove it in my opinion, old enough to know what he wants and too young to understand why he can’t have it. We completely stopped the dummy during the day at 18 months and then removed it fully at 2.5, dummy fairy came and got it and left a give, not a single tear. And she was obsessed with it. Her teeth are fine.

I would wait too. We did it just after DD turned 2, but her understanding/speech was excellent. We talked about the babies needing the dummies now she was a big girl and that we could go to the shops to choose a present from the babies the next day. There was a v small amount of upset that evening and then she was fine (and she was obsessed with it). But I don't think we could have done it at 13 months.

Do you really think it's affecting his teeth at 13 months old? My son is over 2 and a half and has a dummy for bedtime only or for when he's very unwell. It's a godsend for a poorly child. We'll do the dummy fairy or something like that after he's potty trained. They're so little, I just don't see the harm.

His speech is very advanced and dentist says his teeth are fine and probably best to remove dummy around age 3 or so which we will. I imagine his teeth are fine because he has it at bedtime and it falls out within 20 minutes or so. We have a friend with a child the same age and he has the dummy in nearly 24/7. Speech isn't good at all and he's very hard to understand.

Stop giving it to him for anything other than sleep. Just redirect him and say "dummies are for sleep" and distract him with an activity. We always made sure dummies were never ever seen in the day: gather them up in the morning in a little tin and hide them away.

When he's old enough to understand, do the dummy fairy.

I would wait until he's older too, with my 2 DDs we got rid when they were about 3 and they gave them to the dummy fairy who leaves a gift in return. Worked a treat with both of them and they never asked for them back. They need to be old enough to understand and be on board with that though.
Are you using the orthodontic type ones? If you are they shouldn't be affecting his teeth, neither of mine have had issues with teeth or speech development.

I'd wait also.

I would wait until he can better understand what's going on. Then you have a chance he'll be reasonable about it or adjust quickly because he understands what's happening. If that doesn't work, taking it away cold turkey won't be any more upsetting for him at 2 than it would be at 13 months, and probably less so.

We did it when our son was around 2. He was old enough to understand the dummy fairy concept, but in the end we didn't need to do that. His dummy got a hole in it so he couldn't suck it any more and he just accepted it was broken. A few nights being mildly sad and taking a while longer to get to sleep but no major drama.

I would wait unless the dentist or another professional has told you it is impacting their development and to stop.

At 13 months there is no way they can understand. The likelihood is they will be super distressed and their sleep could go awful for a prolonged period of time, potentially. I would be as selective as you can be with it outside of sleep though, and at 18 months for both my kids they were strictly for bed time only.

I would also add… very few 13 month olds are completely independent sleepers and have no sleep associations, removing the dummy most likely will leave to you having to find new ways to get him to sleep like rocking, holding, cuddling, tapping etc, a lot less convenient than popping a dummy in!

My DS sucked on the first two fingers of his right hand with his palm facing up. I could see his teeth being affected when he was 3 so I raised it with the dentist. He wasn't worried.
Six months later the impact on his teeth was really significant and the dentist was keen to stop it. I got him to tell DS and he stopped there and then. Six months later his teeth were back where they should be. It was impressive. So I wouldn't worry at 13 months

We git rid if ds dummy at about 2 ½ . He bit through the end and didn't like it so he put it in the bin. He did this to all of his dummies and was old enough to understand that he was too big for dummies now as his teeth popped them. We did not replace the ones he broke and had no tears.

Thank you all so much for replying. It’s interesting that you all say to let him keep it. It really has affected his teeth - his top ones are really arch shaped (like the google pics of dummy affected teeth). He does tend to keep hold of his dummy with a tight latch even when asleep although when he’s fast asleep we pop in and remove it. Can’t keep doing that all night though as we want to sleep ourselves!

The dummies he has are the same as his bottle teats so not the orthodontic shaped ones. I might try switching and see if he can get used to those without too much upset.

Agree with others - we waited until our son was just 2 and we had 2 nights of mild upset and then he forgot about it. He never slept without it prior to this.

I just bit a hole in DS dummy

He soon got bored of it within a day

I don't think we can. He is here to stay until at least 2028.

We got rid of dummies at that age with both of ours - just went cold turkey, the first night was bad but they forgot pretty quickly. I seem to remember it helped with sleep a bit too because they weren’t always waking up when it fell out. They both became more attached to various teddies after that. I think at that age the risk is more about affecting speech than teeth - at least that was what I was worried about!

That's crazy that his teeth are already affected at 13 months. It's definitely the shape of dummy you're using. If it was orthodontic I'd say leave it til he's older, but that sounds awful for his teeth.

My son uses MAM dummies with no ill effects to teeth or speech.

Ignore the posters saying wait. Get rid ASAP. If it's affecting his teeth, it will surely be affecting his speech. If it isn't already.

Dc2 refused a dummy much to my fusteration, but now at 13m I don't have to go about taking it away. Which is a huge relief

Dc1 was dummy fiend. Stopped dummy at a similar age. 3 nights of constant wake ups and needing to be cuddled to sleep but after that, he settled much easier and didn't wake near as often in night as he wouldn't be missing his dummy. We also gave him a new stuffie, which he still has today.

It's tough, but you're the one who has control currently of his health and well being, his teeth, speech etc. Just rip the plaster off and do it. Time it Thursday evening, that way it only affects one working day and will hopefully be settled by the weekend. Offer lots of cuddles and be patient.

It's not his fault he has been given this unnecessary crutch. As parents, we should be making better choices. I do completely understand why dummies are used (that's aimed at the bitch brigade who will undoubtedly take umbrage to this) and have used them myself. And, in desperation tried again. No judgement, unless you decided to take the easy way out and leave it longer at the known detriment of your child.

Good luck x

Frustratingly, he wouldn’t take a dummy as a newborn, but DH insisted on trying and trying until baby finally agreed - I so so so wish I had been firmer about it at the time but I was just so exhausted.

It absolutely hasn’t/isn’t affecting his speech; he babbles away constantly making plenty of different speech sounds and is developing beautifully. He doesn’t have it when awake except for the odd five minutes if he falls and bumps himself or something and is very upset.

I’m shocked myself at the way it’s affecting his teeth and I’m sure as PP says it’s the type of dummy we’ve used. He wouldn’t take the orthodontic shape but as I said, DH insisted on trying all kinds and DS finally took to the one that was shaped like his bottle teat.

I think I’ll buy some of the MAM ones tomorrow and see if he’ll accept them. If not I’ll take him to the dentist and see if they’re concerned, and if so we’ll give it up.

The "bitch brigade"?

It's you who are the nasty piece of work on this thread. What a disgusting thing to say.

OP could have chose an orthodontic style of dummy but hasn't. She would be right to get rid of it asap as that is what is affecting his teeth, not having a dummy per se.

My toddler has a different style of dummy that spends 20 minutes in his mouth a day at most while he falls asleep. His speech and teeth are impeccable and we've had reassurance from a dentist that his teeth are beautiful, his speech exceptional for his age, and the dummy isn't an issue. When he was rushed to hospital a few weeks ago it gave him so much comfort along with cuddles and his favourite teddy.

We are all looking after our children and providing them with love and comfort as best we can.

We gave up the dummy at about 12 months as he was so reliant on it he was waking up every hour crying for it in the night - he was upset for one night and literally forgot about it the next day! I'm really surprised so many people are advising to keep it, our health visitor, the dentist and a sleep consultant all advised to give it up.

Our dentist said as long as it's gone by 2.5/3 it won't cause long lasting damage. It took DD a while and eventually we "lost" them and she had to go cold turkey and was fine. She was over 3 by then though