Parents of talkative children

[Othersideofthechannel]

what do you do about their incessant talking when you don't have time to listen?

DS is 5 and has VERY talkative moments. At most times it is lovely to be able to have long conversations with him and know what is going on in his head.

But NOT when we are trying to get ready to go out to work/school. I try to treat my children with respect and to speak to them as I would like to be spoken to but can't seem to help interrupting him to say things like 'now is not the time for talking, put your shoes on, you can tell me in the car' and when I've said that a few times over it inevitably becomes a barked 'quiet, shoes!'

This morning we had a bit of spare time so I didn't interrupt just to see - it took him 20 minutes to put on two socks and one jumper! And then he was disappointed there was no time to 'play' before we went out.

oh yes to 2 word rule! Genius!

I cannot cope when my two (who both have verbal diarreah) babble at me at the same time...

oh god
dd (5) has been like this since birth

errrm..tell them to go upstairs and talk to her brother/father/sister...anybody
?

that's what i do anyway

And when you'r ein the car.
On and on and on.

I say to dd1 (who tends to ramble...)
"Can you say iti n one short sentence"?

And to dd2 (who questions everything
"No questions for 5/10/...mins".

Not that htis works, though.

I get tunnel vision sometimes when ds starts talking.

I do love him very much though.

Oh, it's not just in this house then?

DS is 8, and does this all the time.

I do tend to say "Please can you talk, and do, at the same time"

I don't understand what you mean by the two word rule.

Yes that does work when I can be absent Franny. Usually for getting dressed I stay with him for 5 minutes (he likes to be with someone because DD always gets to be with someone as she can't manage alone) and then leave regardless of whether he is dressed or not.

Today was an exception because I had time to see what would happen.

The times when I end up barking orders are times like putting on your shoes and coats when we are all doing it simultaneously. Sometimes he is still chattering away shoes in hand while I am on the drive strapping DD into her car seat.

Otherside, I wish I had your problem! What a WONDERFUL problem to have. YOu are very lucky indeed.

Clumsymum, shall I do an example of two word system in practice?

me: ds, put your socks on. Please.
ds: ... and then I dreamt that it was a planet, a dry one, like [rambling Stars Wars reference] and ...
me: ds, socks.
ds: ... with craters, and there was an alien, no, Mum, really ...
me: ds - two words. Rest when socks are on.
ds: Chocolate Sandwich. [socks go on]
[rest of uniform goes on]
me: OK ds. So, Chocolate Sandwich?
ds: [rest of elaborate dream]

I get mine to talk at eachother rather than at me

I have managed to get DS and DD to understand that when I am doing parking, or other complicated driving thing, that there is to be no talking.

This is the only time there is peace though .

Oh yes, I know how lucky I am and that there are far more difficult/distressing issues to face with children.

Do you have a child who can't talk? I don't mean to offend anyone who does. I love the fact that DS is so verbal just wish I could find a politer way to silence him when it is really necessary.

Re car talking - issue of its own I think - we do the (arguably mean) thing of A Prize for the Last One to Make a Noise Before We Get Home. This only works for sort of age 5+ though, as there has to be a basic level of self-control (and ravening competitiveness, natch) in place.

IDRIS Mine always perk up when I am trying to concentrate on parking

ds1: are we parking in that space?
ds2: theres a space over there
ds1: shes parking in this space
ds2: shes too close to the wall
ds1: you're too close to the wall
ds2: you're too close to the wall
ds1: you're too close to the wall
ds2: you're not straight, shes not straight
ds1: straighten the wheels
ds2: shes needs to straighten the wheels
ds1: starighten the wheels mummy

me: WILL YOU SHUT UP FOR GODS SAKE AND LET ME PARK THE CAR arrrrrgghhhhhhhhhhh

ds2: I said you should have parked over there

me: SHUT UP

Yes I have a child with special needs, but please don't worry, I really don't get offended at all by this. Everybody should have the same opportunity to discuss their problems or frustrations whatever these might be.
I just really wanted you to know that everytime your son talks, it is like music to your ears.

my ds2 is just like this - how glad I am that you are all the same !!

drives dh mad 'cos he can't stand people talking while we watch a dvd HATES it when you say ..' and the this,that or teh other appens..' and ds just can't help it!

DS 4 thinks he's an actor/comedian and re-enacts whole scenes from books and movies.

Astounding memory and ability with voices and accents but DRIVES ME MAD, especially when stuck in traffic on the way to pick up dad at the airport and we're doing Timon and Pumba.

Thank God at home he's happy doing it on his own. Most of the time we just have a good laugh seeing his wild imagination at play.

Agree morning rush and bedtime hardest when they won't shut up.

Bink - have you stolen my ds?

Identical - Even down to the dreams and chocolate sandwiches...

I have two chatterboxes. DD1's first report stated that she was "highly articulate". We weren't sure whether that was teacher-speak for "we can't get her to shut up".

Am definitely going to try the two word rule. That's fantastic and I think DD1 would rise to the challenge.

We do "no more questions for five minutes because mummy's head is about to explode". And when the pressure's on to get out of the door I tell her "you can tell me everything you like on the way to school, but now I don't want to hear any more talking till you're ready".

I've come round to thinking that it is perfectly reasonable for me to teach my children that other people do not want to listen to another individual talking ALL THE TIME. The rest of us are entitled to some headspace, in order to let our own thoughts form.

And yes, TinySocks, you are right that children talking is precious and their views are to be valued and cherished, especially when they are important and/or completely off the wall! I am delighted about fact that DD1 tells me all sorts of things about school that many of her friends appear to keep completely to themselves. When she really does have something to say, I listen, and listen properly, and it's lovely!

Oh, the sheer joy of knowing there are other families out there, just like ours! Love the two word rule - will try that.

It is a lovely problem to have, TinySocks. You are so right. Drive us nuts sometimes, but it is a blessing.