Silly for wanting 2 under 2?

[milkymilkymamaa]

Our LO is just gone 1 years of age. I would love another baby and hope to have the age gap around 2 years, if we are lucky to be successful again.

My worry is that I'm not seeing how difficult it may be for me this time. My husband works away, 300 miles away and is home for two days here and there and two weeks every other month. We love those two weeks but having a newborn would mean no help at all for me in the nights in those early months. I note, my husband wasn't working away when LO was born, he went when LO was around 5/6m.

I am in the swing of solo parenting with our 1 year old and manage fine (sometimes the house work suffers). I was thinking of the second baby would be good given we are in the thick of nappies, naps, etc now, to stay in those rather than go back with a bigger gap. But I'm wondering if I may be stretching myself too thin with being completely alone through the days and nights for weeks. Has anyone gone through this and managed? I'd love to hear from you.

Am I being silly here or should we wait until he moves back home? Currently we don't know when that would be though and means a huge pay cut, hence him travelling so far...

Is there any chance of spending some of your mat leave where you partner works?

Some of my friends have done this when their partners have had to work away with young babies.

My main concern would be has your body had time to recover from the first pregnancy and birth if your little one is only just 1. I'm sure they recommend that you wait at least 18 months between pregnancies and longer than that if you had a c section with the first.

On the stuff you have actually asked about due you have local support? Someone to take the eldest when you go into labour, assuming that DH won't necessarily be there when you go into labour.

What about if you have a c section this time? How much paternity leave does DH get? Will he be there whilst you heal?

You're not solo parenting.
It's not recommended as your body hasn't had chance to recover mainly.

I had two under two. They were due the same day a year apart. I ended up with a "big baby" and a newborn. If your eldest is already one, then it is likely there will be a 2 year age gap anyway. There are loads of advantages - you are in the moment of it, have all the stuff at hand, they amuse each other, are close when they grow up and so on BUT there are some downsides, one is if you have a difficult pregnancy with baby 2 as there is potentially no one there to look after baby 1. I also had some horrendous nights where neither baby would go to sleep and I was up all night. I would not wish this on anyone. Mind you, I think this can happen with any ages, just you can reason a bit with an older child and know if there is anything properly wrong. Despite what others are saying, my body did not suffer from having two pregnancies though. I went on to have 2 more children, 15 months apart this time. Hope this helps x