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Parenting

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Mum/son relationships?? MIL overdoing it or normal??

3 replies

sal96 · 09/07/2024 00:31

Hi all, I need a little insight into what’s normal for the adult man/mother relationship.

I am the mother of a 1 year old boy and can’t imagine doing some of the things my MIL finds quite regular when my baby grows up. Now, granted, we are from two different cultures so maybe that’s the confusion?

My husband has a great relationship with his mum which I am very thankful for, I think good family ties are amazing especially when raising a child in said family. Never thought nothing weird about it, especially on my husbands side, he always prioritises our little family wherever he can.

We are currently visiting my in laws for the summer and my MIL has asked my husband for a massage which they proceeded to take part in right in front of me which I found quite uncomfortable if I’m honest. She also has other sons she could have asked, she had a sore back it was nothing inappropriate, but just uncomfortable. Anyway, days later we’re going shopping, I was desperate for some new clothes after pregnancy and still breastfeeding a year later my wardrobe has been a shambles. Anyway she wanted to come with us last min and jumped in the car. No problems, of course you can, let’s go. We get to the shop and she starts picking up and trying on items and then giving them to my husband to pay for with my items 😂. He’s happy to do it and we always buy gifts for his mum, both of us love to do it. But the timing was just abit off for me. Finally, we’ve been spending a lot of time with them but yday we spend all morning outside, she called him telling him she needed some food bits for lunch immediately and then proceeded to call him repeatedly asking how long he will be, she’s waiting and why is he not outside yet 😅 Are all of these things just coincidence or am I dealing with a MIL who’s not quite ready to let go of her son?

Then there’s the usual parenting advice that she likes to give me non stop and my husband thinks she’s being nice. In the nicest possible way, my husband and I live abroad far away from both of our families. I got my baby to a year old completely alone and he’s perfect and healthy, I don’t need anyone to judge my parenting (but I can overlook this of course since we’re only visiting).

OP posts:
MumDaisy1980 · 20/08/2024 21:47

Sorry to hear that and there hasn’t been any reply! I could relate in some way. I had asked similar question before too! I wonder if your husband is the eldest son? There are times MIL calling DH like a boyfriend , asking him how to set up Tv or internet etc but I know father-in-law is superb in DIY and fixing things around the house.its sth I will ask my husband . And MILalways portrait her relationship with father in law is so dull and boring, I cannot understand.

about the parenting advice , it’s awful ! I feel for you as I got that a lot too being a new mum!

I suggest you just embrace it. Really nothing you can do. It only happened when you visiting right? Not worth to do anything bout it. Just different family works differently. Perhaps you can even consider to step back and let ur husband spend time with MIL alone. You can go shopping urself instead . Otherwise what an eyesore you not meant to fight with MIL, but she seems not giving enough space to you.

Hope it helps!

whyNotaNice · 20/08/2024 21:58

If he earns in the UK may be she thinks you have more money than her?

My mother would never do this to my brother but my mother in law did very stupid things for few years, before I went nc

Maddy70 · 20/08/2024 22:13

Im guessing thai or Indian. All perfectly normal

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