Feel like a bad mum

[Nmc34]

I dont enjoy spending time with my children right now ( I really want to be the fun mum) every day is a battle over everything. Constant moaning and nothings ever good enough for them. My youngest is hard work he's a 1 man tazmainian devil and very loud, also doesnt sleep very well. Most days I just want to hide right now. I try do things then I end up overwhelmed and stressed.
My house is totally disorganised and messy no matter how hard I try.
I love my kids more than words can explain and just want to give them the best life I can but feel like a miserable failure. All I feel like I do is moan at them. I've not long split with their dad and get almost no help he takes them some Saturday nights but ive always got them back by lunch time on Sunday ( I know should be happy I at least get that as some dont).
I sit every night feeling awful and guilty because I'm not the mum I want to be. I dont know what to do anymore

Sounds like you are feeling a bit down, which is totally understandable if you've had a recent split and your youngest isn't sleeping.

How old is the youngest?

You aren't a failure. It's tough being a lone parent. I found mine at 1 year old the most exhausting and demanding! You'd have to be an absolute saint not to be frustrated.
Is there anyone who can help? A friend or family member?

You’re doing amazing, the fact that you’re self aware and feel guilty is an indication of how hard you’re trying.

1 is a really hard age to be a single parent and by the sounds of it you’re getting nowhere enough support from your ex.

Try and have your little you moments, even it’s something small like a hot bath or getting some nice chocolate. I’ve been there and it’s rough, have some compassion for yourself. Please don’t beat yourself up, it will get easier.

Try to make the most of Saturday nights. Don't bother with too much housework, the place doesn't need to be a show home. Plan something nice and relaxing for yourself and food that you fancy. It's very important to look after yourself so that you can look after your children.

Try and stop moaning at them then. It's not their fault you've split from the dad.

Go easier on yourself with the state of the house. Housework can wait.

My youngest is almost 5 hes never been the best sleeper. He slept better as a newborn

How is he in school? Does school know about the split and is he receiving any support?

I do try not to moan thats the point.
I'm not moaning at them because I split from their dad of course its not their fault. I'm moaning at the because every single thing seems like a massive battle. From getting dressed, to eating, going out, going to bed, their constant bickering. My eldest was so easy compared to the younger 2. I'm burt out and overwhelmed, have been since before their dad left. I asked for support from him and never got any.

Hes just about to start school. Hes alway been over tge top. Though he is the most loving cuddly little boy. He's usually OK at nursery they only see glimmers of what I see at home. He was referred to neurodiverget team by health visitor but because the meets all his milestones and is clever they refused to see him

Just finding it all difficult at the moment. Juggling work, studying, kids, house on top of a complicated break up.
Mine were all a dream at 1. The 2 youngest are 4 and 6 and can be difficult. Eldest is a teen but hes no bother and can be helpful when he feels like it.
Not really ive told a couple people how I feel but apart from my best friend noone seems to care or live too far away to do anything

I've been trying but I end up feeling guilty about that too as for some reason I feel.i should get what I can done while they are away so I can focus on them. I do struggle with anxiety so that's a factor in some of it

This sounds rough. A split will take its toll on you physically, mentally and emotionally. Be kind to yourself. You’re trying your best. The Saturday nights I think you need to keep as ‘you’ time. Relax on the couch with Netflix, eat a takeaway and chill out. It will give you time to recharge and something to look forward to.

Hes just about to start school. Hes alway been over tge top. Though he is the most loving cuddly little boy. He's usually OK at nursery they only see glimmers of what I see at home. He was referred to neurodiverget team by health visitor but because the meets all his milestones and is clever they refused to see him

I was asking as my youngest has never slept well and is currently being assessed for ASD.

It's tough. I hope you find answers for your little one. I've been told to wait to see how he is at school

It's tough. I hope you find answers for your little one. I've been told to wait to see how he is at school

We got given the "wait and see" advice many times. It was hopeless as she just learned to mask.

I'd fill in the 5 year Ages & Stagess and the 5 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stagess.

You can score them yourself or ask to see your HV and get them to score it.

It's perfectly normal for a child to score grey in a couple of areas but anymore than that and I'd want a referral. If he does get diagnosed with ASD you can get Melatonin. Some DC don't get on with it but for us it has been life changing.

LOL, sister I think we all feel this, some say it out loud, some don’t! It’s totally normal, they’re clearly of the ages where they will make ANY mum feel overwhelmed!!!!! Give yourself a break hun xxx