How to get 3yo to eat something other than pasta and cheese?

[ohidoliketobe23]

DS3 refuses to try anything and is existing on a diet of pasta and cheese at dinner time. He will have other stuff throughout the day, but is far from adventurous. He will eat bagels/toast for breakfast with fruit, occasionally Greek yoghurt with a bit of maple syrup, wraps with cream cheese, scrambled egg if he's in the mood. It's all quite beige. We offer veg with most meals but he won't touch it or asks for it to be taken off his plate before he'll eat anything else. He doesn't eat meat (don't want to get into a convo about that here!).

He would always eat blended veg sauces which I got creative with, but had pasta and cheese at a friends once and now refuses the veg packed sauces too.

A bit of background: he was breastfed until he was 2.5 and never took to food from when we started weaning. He's not food driven and never says he's hungry or wants something to eat. He was premature and has always been quite thin, so we're always desperate to get him to eat anything which results in us just giving him what he wants (pasta and cheese!) to get him to have a proper dinner. He will happily take sugary snacks like ice cream or cake though, so he does have a preference! He has something like this once/twice a week with grandparents.

I admit we've made a bit of a rod for our own back with regard to pandering to this in the first place, but I wondered if anyone has any tips for overcoming this sort of thing? I'd love us to be able to eat together as a family.

My advice would be to persevere and not make meal times too much of a stress (and I know this is so much easier said than done). My DS is about to turn five and when he was 3 would happily have survived on a diet of pasta and cheese. I’m not saying life is perfect now but his eating has improved SO much. I think this is in large part because of having school dinners and having to try new things. And we have been better at home at having family friendly dinners all together more often. He will now eat roast chicken, lasagne, chicken tikka pieces and rice, sausage rolls, cheeseburgers, chilli and rice. He is still a bit of a veg avoider but eats fruit ok, so I’m seeing this all as a work in progress. You will get there.

EDIT to say DS is our second and our eldest will eat or at least try pretty much anything. He’s not at all fussy. Sometimes it really is just the child and nothing you are/aren’t doing

I was like this as a child. My son is similar. My mum went for the gentle approach and now as an adult the only thing I won't eat is mushrooms. I absolutely love food, love trying new things and there is nothing I wouldn't give a go. But for years the only veg I ate were peas and beans. My diet consisted of Spaghetti bologanise, chicken soup and things like sausages/chicken nuggets and chips. My mum never made food into a battle, never gave me any ultimatums, never punished or praised me around food whatsoever. I'm trying to take the same approach with my kids but it is difficult not to feel some anxiety when you feel like you've dished up nothing but pasta for months.

We went through a cereal and nothing else phase with my 3.5yo, set ourselves up for it by offering cereal as an alternative when they didn't like what we'd made for dinner. So we stopped offering an alternative and started saying "this is dinner. Eat what you want but leave the rest on your plate. There is some cucumber/safe food side dish here for us all, would you like to put some on your plate?" and also "well done for trying something new!" And also "I'm trying something new!" We also normalised that we don't always like the same things. "I (mummy) didn't eat my crusts because I don't like them, that's ok. I left them on my plate. Daddy didn't eat his lettuce but he did eat his crusts! We like different things and that's ok."

You sound like a great parent and very patient! Glad the hard work paid off