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Parenting

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ADHD?

2 replies

Sam858 · 05/07/2024 17:39

Hoping for some advice or help from people that may have had similar situations. My son is now 7 and has always been abit different to his peers. I've always felt like somethings maybe not quite right. I spoke with an acquaintance who is a teacher and she said it sounds like ADHD/ADD. I've spoken with his teacher, she said she'll keep an eye out but I felt like my concerns were brushed off. He seems to struggle with social situations and doesn't seem to understand how to behave. For example, he doesn't understand personal space- he'll get really close to people's faces to talk and I can often see it makes the other person uncomfortable- I've spmioken with him about this many times but he doesn't grasp why it's not ok. He struggles with his learning and is 1 year behind. He gets bored and frustrated very quickly- if he doesn't manage his reading/writing etc straight away, he'll say I can't do it, I'm so dumb, I don't know what to do. We always respond by telling him he's very clever and it's ok to not get something straight away, we keep trying, that's how we learn. We try to be very positive and praise him for everything he manages and be understanding of things he finds difficult. He has not been invited to a birthday party for 2 years. He always ends up being left out when playing with a group of his peers- he doesn't have the same understanding that they do of social things- if they're play fighting, he always ends up hitting too hard, upsetting someone- he doesn't understand despite me trying to explain this over and over. When eating, he's very messy and will grab at food trying to get as much as he can in his plate- he is always offered plenty of food and eats well, he's a normal size for his age, he just doesn't understand that you don't do that. More often than not, when in a gathering with other children, he gets upset and ends up being excluded, alot of the time he will play with and get on better with younger children- it's as if he understands them better and is more on that level. I always speak to anyone that's picking on him and I speak with my son to try to help him understand why someone has been upset with him etc. I am as calm as possible. I just feel quite upset seeing that he's not thriving and seeing him upset. I want to help him but I'm not sure what to do to get him the help he needs. As time goes on, his education and his friendships are being affected. I have tried to talk to him about him about his feelings- for the first time, he responded the other day and told me when he hits his siblings, it's because he gets so mad and annoyed that they're not listening. It felt huge that he shared that with me because he's never spoken about his feelings before. I have tried to give him tequniques for dealing with his emotions but I feel like he needs more support. If you have read all this, thankyou for bearing with me. Any advice on how I can go forward and get him help would be appreciated

OP posts:
Avie29 · 06/07/2024 10:22

Hey 👋 we had something similar with our now 13yo, it started when she was 5 and we noticed she struggled to make friends/keep friendships, as she got older 7/8 we noticed she didn’t understand social ques, couldn’t hold or follow a conversation as she would answer with something completely irrelevant to what you were talking about etc, and she too preferred the company of children younger- she eventually started to play/hang out with her younger brother( 20months younger) and his friends at school, thankfully we have a great school who listened to our concerns and the brought in an educational psychologist when she was 5, who then referred her, she was finally diagnosed with autism at 11, it took a long time because as she got older she learned to ‘mask’- its more common in girls with autism, she is now 13-14 end of this month and she is doing great, her grades are still a bit below what they should be but she puts real effort into her school work and we have had soo many postcards and phone calls from teachers telling us what a lovely kind polite young lady she is, she does have a few close friends now too- all are also on the spectrum she met when she went to high school- they have a nurture class that they put vulnerable children in that might struggle with the busy loud high school routine, she started mainstream high school beginning of this year and was very nervous but has done brilliantly- she still has the odd day when she struggles and comes home overwhelmed and upset but otherwise she is doing great, i would push the school to listen to you or take him to the gp who can then refer him, as sorry to say there are a few red flags there for me, he sounds similar to my daughter when she was younger xx

pastypotatoes · 06/07/2024 10:28

Hi OP, I can reply more later when I get a chance, but it sounds like it could be a combination of ADHD and ASD.

I'm certain both my children have it as well. I'm diagnosed ADHD at 40 and after a few years and endless researching and learning I'm fairly certain I've also got mild ASD (in the form of Asperger's) as well. It very much has an effect on social cues and situations.

I would recommend these books to try and help explain things to your child

My Body has a Bubble: Understanding personal space, the importance and the layers of our personal space amzn.eu/d/02qWWmN8

My Brain is a Race Car: A children's guide to a neuro-divergent brain amzn.eu/d/0f6oSqum

My Feelings are Waves (UK Au spelling version): Big Feelings and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria amzn.eu/d/0cUgLszZ

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