Cannot cope with 1 year old

[Newtoparenting1122]

I don't know where to start. My 1 year old is so miserable and has been since about 6 months. I read similar threads about it getting better but he's getting worse and I don't know how much longer I can do this. He is so miserable no matter what we do. In the pram? Screams and flings about. In the car seat? Same. Being held? Whines to go down. Gets put down. Whines to be picked up. He won't settle at nursery and I cannot leave the house without him being horrible and we can't even have a meal without him screaming at the top of his lungs I feel horrendous for saying it but he just ruins everything! We've gone on several holidays and he is just so miserable even then to the point where we just give up what we're doing and go back to the room. The noise of him.crying and screaming drives me crazy as it's at least 85% of the day and even when he wakes up he's screaming before he's even opened his eyes! He's a terrible eater hasn't taken to weaning at all. Doesn't sleep through the night and wakes at 5am. My partner thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread and constantly says oh he's just a baby. But he's not the one going to baby classes watching every other baby be the happiest little character while mine is.just screaming and moaning :( he's not the one who can't even go on a walk without it leading to screaming. We've been to the doctors and they don't see anything wrong. I'm debating going myself for PND but me taking medication won't make him happy and enjoy things. I was at my wits end at around 9/10 months and it's just getting worse :( just to say aswell he was the best baby! Barely cried, very happy and giggly and the love I had for him would make me so emotional but ever since the 6 month mark it's all gone downhill!

That sounds horrible.. I clicked thinking here we go another mum complaining about a baby being a baby …. But that sounds really tough and soul destroying… my 2 year old thrashes getting changed and in the pram but in between is just sweet and cute enough for me not to lose my cool

id go bc ask to the GP - have they done allergy testing he sounds unhappy and uncomfortable

Not had any allergy tests done as of yet but you're right we should look into this

Yeah, this isn't normal OP. Something is really bothering him and I suspect your life (and his!) will get a lot better when you figure out what it is. No child should be screaming and crying all day at a year old (or at any age tbh) if their needs are being met and they are well cared for.

Yes, take him to the GP. That's not normal 1 year old behaviour. I hope you get to the bottom of it.

Is he walking yet? My ds was thoroughly miserable until 14 months - when he learned to walk.

Definitely GP. Sounds like he's in some kind of pain. It's so hard when they can't just tell you what is wrong 😞 my little one has cmpa and for those first few weeks it was awful seeing him in pain but not knowing what I could do to help. 6 months of being like that does not sound right, getting him checked out is definitely needed

I second going back to the GP, push for it to be looked into properly. Not just a quick look on the stretcher in the sugery. Bloods, the lot.

He's now started walking he did so just after her turned 1. Not fully walking but can potter around the room

Can I ask what symptoms your little one had? We've been back and forth the doctors for all sorts but because he doesn't have any rashes and isn't sick they've never advised of allergy 😫

Mine didn't get rashes or sickness either. It was just severe stomach pains with explosive nappies. Also alot of pain with wind too. I switched his formula myself at 3 weeks and didn't get it prescribed until he was 10 weeks. I wasn't willing to watch him in agony no matter what the doctor said. Have you tried a non dairy formula?

No.we haven't tried that ourselves we took him in at around 6 weeks and were scaremongered into not changing it and how bad it could be for them etc so I was terrified not to but our HV said he can now have cows milk so I'd assume a change in formula would be okay too?

I'd definitely change him to a non dairy diet. Use toddler soya or toddler oat milk instead of cows milk and see how he is in a few weeks. If it's cmpa you should definitely notice a big difference

As others have said OP it sounds like something is really bothering him. Is he ever sick? Or does he ever have dodgy nappies? My DC1 ended up having dairy intolerance that we didn’t spot until she was close to 2 years old and once we adjusted her diet things got a lot easier.

Please consider asking for allergy testing, don’t hold back when describing to the GP all of the symptoms you have noted in your post. This sounds incredibly hard and it may be worth mentioning that your mental health is also suffering because of it too.

Consider videoing his crying. Go back to the GP and if they say there’s nothing wrong, request a second opinion with a referral to a paediatrician.

There will be a long waiting list, but it seems you have nothing to lose.

In the meantime, at PP suggested try removing his formula milk and reducing dairy. Don’t try everything at once and give it a chance to make a difference. Note everything down in a diary.

Good luck. I know how awful a screaming/crying child makes you feel.

What solids is he eating?
What's his meal and milk schedule currently?

Its so tough isn't it you feel so helpless! Did your gp make him have tests or was you switching his formula enough to confirm if you don't mind me asking?

Me switching it myself and it completely changing how he was made them see I was right. He's seen a paediatric doctor who agreed he's cmpa so so we kept him on the soya formula until 1 and now he has the alpro toddler soya.