Be prepared for a long story!
I was a mum at 16 to my only daughter who is now 15 next week.
as a young mum I faced many Many challenges, the father and I were the same age and we had a relationship for a few weeks before my daughter was conceived. I hardly saw him during my pregnancy and I attended scans with my mum who was elated to be a grandmother. Her father stuck around until she was a couple of weeks old. He was a complete mummy’s boy, his mum would defend all his wrong doings.. down to him pushing me over when I was 13 days overdue (as he was drunk). He showed no intrest when she was born and he contributed NOTHING! I relyed on benefits and my family to support myself and daughter. After she reached a month he didn’t see her and he cut all contact. Moving forward 9 years and I work as a care assistant and have my own home, financially things were tight. I learned he was working so I applied to child maintenance and he said he wasn’t her father and they said he should take a dna then he failed to respond so it was ordered that a percentage of his wages was to be deducted before he gets his pay. Still no contact. When my daughter was 12 she started displaying signs of defiant behaviour at home and in school. One day I recived a message from a random girl claiming she had a child from my daughters biological father and he had abandoned her and the child when she was 18 weeks pregnant. She also gets child maintenance which cut mine but that’s ok. The child is now 3 and has never met him. His mum messaged the other child’s mum threatening that she ‘leaves her son alone’.He was very abusive towards the other baby mum and her son which was from another man, he locked him in the wardrobe ‘allegedly’. Back to us My daughter has been permanently excluded from 2 schools, attends a provisional unit where she is monitored as she is a risk to staff and other students so she is kept in perminant seclusion. She has brought me so many problems, she has nearly cost me my job, mental health and my overall quality of life. She must be watched 24/7 by a adult and all sharps and any medications have to be kept in a safe. She really is hard work. She has a community order as she has heen arrested multiple times, im all alone with her as my family have their own issues and own children. Back to her father who hasn’t seen her since she was a month old.. who lives 5 miles away! Well her has a partner who is 19 he is 32! They have 2 kids together one boy and one girl. He has stuck around for these children as he lives with the mum who is again 19! He met her at work when she was doing work experience when she was 15. (The other baby mum told me) I saw him in the street (first time since my daughter was 1month) so nearly 15 years and don’t ask how I had never seen him in the meentime I guess he made good effort not to walk around the town! I got out my car and he was mocking me so I slapped him. All the while my daughter was stood there and he didn’t even acknowledge her. He called the police as I was stood there and he was shouting down the phone ‘iv been assaulted’ all in front of my daughter. I had never felt so much rage. How on earth could a man not even look at their own child! Police came and put me in the back of their car and i clam ones that he walked towears me in a threatening manner and I reacted in self defence, nothing more come from that.
I just sit hear as a single mum when my daughter is fatherless and is struggling with ADHD emotional processing disorder and autism and wonder how on earth someone could just abandon a child and another child and go on to have more and stick around.. it pains me to my core, my child and her half sister are going to grow up wondering what was wrong with them. I just needed to get this off my chest.