Baby No 3 yes or no?

[Cosymum22]

So I currently have 2 beautiful children, my little boy who is 4 and my little girl who is nearly 1. We have just found out we are expecting our 3rd child and we are not sure how we feel about it.
we are considering all our options and talking through everything constantly.
we are trying to work out if keeping this baby is what will be best for our family or not!
I would love to hear all the pros and cons of having 3 children instead of 2?
and also of anyone who decides to abort a 3rd child did you regret it?
please a help a very confused mama out?

I think you have to do what is right for you, and your family. It is a decision only you can make.

Are you feeling able to go through pregnancy again as quickly, health wise? Can you afford another child, is there enough room, size of house, car etc etc. 3 means 3 carseats, more expensive holidays, meals, so many things cater to a family of 4.

You will have 2 very young dcs at the same time which will make it tougher, not to mention being pregnant with two young dcs. On the other hand, because they're little you'll get it all out of the way with quicker, you're in the hands on years anyway, it'll not be much different time wise. I think this is easier in some ways than going back to it later on, and the sleepless nights just dragging on for more years. Your dcs would be close in age meaning you can plan similar activities too.

You have to do what is right for you, when you're in the thick of it things can seem impossible. However later when you're getting sleep again, as your other 2 grow will you regret it?

I have 2 dcs, and dh has now had a vasectomy, I just know I couldn't cope with a 3rd. This is because my dcs are 7 and 4, we have more freedom, doing more activities, easier outings etc.

I wouldn't want a baby thrown in the mix now. I am in my late 30s, and just getting my identity back. If I had have fell pregnant when dc2 was 1 and had an abortion, I would regret it now. I would be thinking the 3rd child would be more manageable, we would have done the hard bit, and this little person is missing. I would spend my life wondering what if, what they would be like.

Can you financially handle another child
Can you practically handle another child
Can you emotionally handle another child

i only have 2, from friends who have 3 I would say it really does tip the balance from manageable to chaotic in the school years. School age children are expensive, can you handle 3 lots of clubs, friendships and school work. Do you and your husband have money and the support network to raise another child?

I think only you can make the decision. Talk it through as a couple but ultimately it’s your decision.
Obviously, actually being pregnant is a very different situation to the hypothetical discussion as to whether to go for a third. You now need to consider how you’d cope with the emotional impact of a termination. Some women take it in their stride whilst others find it affects them deeply for many years. Only you know how you feel about that.
Good luck with the decision. It’s easy to talk about all the practical downsides to going ahead but if, emotionally, you feel it’s what you need to do then that trumps everything. Likewise, you could have space and money etc but if you don’t personally feel you’d cope emotionally then that’s perfectly valid and trumps the other side.

We have 3. Our children almost the exact same ages and sexes as yours relative to No 3, who is now 1 (I'm just returning to work). The third was planned but it was a close decision and I had a lot of doubts and worries during the pregnancy.

I do feel guilty about No 3 taking away from the first two at times, but I have gained an extra maternity leave which was actually very nice coinciding with our eldest starting school and in getting through the "terrible twos" with No 2 at the same time. I've also dropped my work % which will be a slight financial hit but actually, not that much because of how tax and extra child benefit etc work out and so I'm glad in a sense that No 3 pushed me to make that decision as I just want more time with all of them whilst they're little. The changes to early years funding have actually meant we'll be much better off with No 3 than we were at the same stage with No 2. We have not had to replace our car as we have found narrow belted seats that work across the back. We are fortunate also in having fairly secure progression in our careers.

For me the jump 1 > 2 was more of a challenge than 2 > 3 but that may be as our No 2 is a much more intense personality and terrible sleeper. No 3 relatively speaking has slotted in to our already busy lives. Though there are some days where I do think "this could have been a much nicer day if I wasn't juggling 3". Taking 1 away at a time for 1to1 can really help with that feeling, and the remaining parent tends to find "just 2" easy to manage! This is course a very early/limited perspective because our children are still so small. I have no regrets (so far) and it is nice to have that feeling of closure and a looking forward to a very full and busy family life in future.

I know that if we had not gone for three I would have spent the rest of their childhood looking enviously at those families with 3! The smaller gap is hard (about 4.5 years for us) now but I believe it will pay off when they're all of school/preschool age.

Thank you everyone for messaging.
it is such a confusing time for us and we really don’t know what is best. One minute I think expanding our family will be amazing but then the next I worry about finances and want to be able to give the children we have now the best life. I’m still currently bf my little girl so my body hasn’t been my own for quite some time so I worry if we have another baby I will struggle with that side of it. But then on the other hand worry we will live a life of regret and always wonder what if if we decide to not have it. My mind is constantly doing flips and just don’t know what to do for the better

@Cosymum22 Hi, I have seen your post and I am having the exact same conversations with my husband yet my children are older than yours. What was your decision in the end?

Hey swiftie what did you do in the end too? X

What was your decision in the end , I’m in the same position as you were last year and so undecided xxx