Is this balanced childcare or is one parent doing more?
Parents live in different houses (due to conflict between ND and NT needs this was the best solution for the family) so who is doing more cleaning doesn't come into it.
Parents do not share income.
Children's activities and costs are split between both households
Parent 1 is 6 figure high earner
Parent 2 is has low income. Parent 2 is disabled and is struggling to work more hours to earn more. They do what they can.
Parent 1 does not give parent 2 any money.
Parent 1 works 50 plus hours a week if not more. High pressure job but very well paid.
The times it seems parents have children at the same time is becuase 1 parent has some of them and the other as others due to activities the children need to go to.
Parent 1 has children on
Mondays 6-9.30 cooks dinner
Wednesdays 4-5:30 (2 children) and over night (all children) does dinner.
Thursdays morning school run and 2 children 4-5:30
Parent 2 has children
Mondays until 6 and then after 9:30
Tuesdays morning school run and then after school to over night. Does dinner
Wednesday. Morning school run. 4-5:30 has one child activity.
Thursdays. 4- overnight does dinner
Friday after school to over night. Sometimes do family time so both parents together. Most of the time has kids over night and does dinner.
Saturdays joint parenting together. Kids often stay at parent 1s house but both parents are there.
Sundays parent together. Sometimes stays at parent 1s sometimes parent 2s.
Does this seem balanced or not?
Parent 1 seems to think it's unbalanced. They seem to think they do everything. They have suggested the balance is actually them doing 80 percent and parent 2 20 percent.
Parent 2 thinks things are pretty balanced in terms of care (although not finances) . They think that really if they are to have them more then some financial sharing probably needs to take place as if they were separated there would be some maintenance if parent 2 was to have children more. Parent 2 feels like they can't afford to have them more.
Parent 2 feels like parent 1 feels things are unbalanced not because of childcare but because of parent 1s high pressure long houred job . They however feel like it isn't ok for them to take on a higher load of childcare whilst there are no shared finances leaving parent 1 to work uninterrupted, needing to pay for no childcare, but also keeping all of the money they earn to themselves while parent 2 financially struggles.
Parent 1 thinks that there should be no shared finances as we live apart but are together in a relationship so no money is owed as it's just looking after your kids. They say they are sick of the unbalance and parent 2 must do more.
Is parent 1 or parent 2 correct here?