Health Anxiety about Kids - anyone else?

[Anon22224]

When I was 6 weeks post partum I became extremely unwell with sepsis and was in hospital for a week, baby came with me but it was a really traumatic experience. I have a 4 yo at home too and it was all round awful for everyone.

Baby is now 6 months but ever since this I have had horrific health anxiety. I’m a health care professional which makes it extremely embarrassing. I suffered a bout of anxiety whilst pregnant but never have previously. If I’m totally honest I feel really bad because I’ve never had a lot of sympathy as didn’t understand it.

It’s really starting to affect my day to day life, and I’m worried that my 4 yo is picking up on it too. I desperately want to stop feeling so anxious that every small thing will result in a hospital stay.

Baby woke up with a temperature and a whole body rash today and it has sent me into panic mode. I called 111 but because her breathing was so fast they called an ambulance out! She didn’t need that. They advised to go to hospital as her breathing was fast and their policy is to suggest that for all under 1s but I haven’t gone yet as I’m pretty sure it’s not necessary even though every part of me is screaming that i should get her seen. I just can’t seem to have a normal rational thought process :(

is anyone else like this? I think I need some therapy

Don’t be hard on yourself: I also found there were so many things I didn't understand/have enough sympathy for until I became a Mum. I’ll be a lot more understanding to Mums in the future though!

I am lucky enough that we both WFH and have been avoiding social situations because I am nervous about that first cold! Not sure if that counts as PPA or just being extra prudent.

I tried CBT for my early PPA but found it exacerbated issues while swimming, more sleep and avoiding arguments with SO significantly reduced it.. Also reading Matrescence made me understand why PPA occurs a bit better. CBT might work for you though. Medicine or supplements might work too.

It sounds like you took rational steps this morning anyway and the only problem is feeling panicked . If 111 told you to go to hospital and your motherly instincts are also telling you to, why not just go and get reassurance?

I am like OP describes. I think I have always been anxious but since a bit before my first child was born it has been around her health and sometimes about mine too. It has taken me some time to accept it is my anxiety. At the same time I had to take care of some real (not serious) health problems of my child and I am always in doubt if my concern is legit or if it is my anxiety speaking. I am worried if I present things to the doctor from my anxious point of view I will have her undergo lots of unnecessary tests.

After spending too much time worrying that my baby would die shortly after birth because I was induced early because of suspected growth restriction; too much time worrying about her having incurable chronic diseases; too much time worrying about me suffering from an incurable chronic disease and even feeling symptoms (joint pain, twitching, burning skin...)! I started to search about health anxiety and I found I can relate to a lot of what I read. That has made me break the loop to some extent, but I know it is still there and next time I look at my daughter, my eyes will focus on her and try to find out if what I see is symptomatic of a problem.

I should seek help, but I don't know where to start. I don't want medication and I feel ashamed of going to the GP. One thing I have done is to stop googling. I thought I could read anything and be under control, because I am so rational... but no, it really triggers and puts me in a loop. Next thing is to avoid overthinking (difficult); I tell myself "those thoughts are not useful" to keep intrusive thoughts and catastrophic views aside. It only works when I am a bit better, to avoid going into the loop again. And now when I feel the urge to use google, I search about health anxiety.

Regarding the everyday colds, breathing problems, allergies. I try to use trusted web sources from the local health services where I live. And otherwise call the doctor for advice; try to stick to the facts when I report and let the doctor decide. It's difficult I know, I have spent nights next to my daughter looking at her breathing wondering if I should call the emergencies or if it's just a cold. I would like to trust my instincts but they seem to be not working that well due to the anxiety and I am afraid to misjudge things...

Even if I have not followed my own advice, ask for help. Talk to your GP ask about CBT, or medication, it can get better.

I think it's completely understandable that you would feel like this given what you've been through. It is very recent and no doubt as the mother of small children you've just had to get on with things and had no time to process it.

I would be talking to my GP and see what they can suggest. Some talking therapies would probably be v useful and it is such a specific problem you're having that I reckon it could be successfully treated too.