Tantrums

[WasitacatisaW]

I'm really struggling with the tantrums at the moment. They are multiple times a day for the most miniscule reasons (which I totally get) but it doesn't help how I'm feeling. My LB has started squealing for things he can't reach, throws himself on the floor and then screams for me to pick him up. I read it's best to ignore the tantrum but when we are outside it gets a bit much. Same for indoors too. I'm sure everyone in my flat knows when we are getting in as I often have to hold him whilst he's crying and flailing his arms and legs because of a tantrum.

I'm so stressed, feel overwhelmed, over stimulated and then I feel tapped out.

Sometimes I dread being at home with him.

Any advice please? How long will this last? He was 2 in April.

This sounds hard. What sort of things trigger the tantrums? And how do you handle the tantrums? Perhaps we can help there?

Like your example trying to reach things. Mine did this too so I got them a little step. From my POV - my kid wants that thing up there and will get it by hook or by crook. I'm going to facilitate that. I'll get them a step so they can reach and while it's annoying for me they can now reach somewhere, it will be safer than them climbing the cupboard to get there.

When mine has a tantrum, I never ignore it. They're frustrated. It's a feeling and it's ok to feel that way. They don't understand the feeling or how to get back to normal yet. I always tell mine how they're feeling and ask if they want a cuddle. "You're upset because you want the thing. It's not safe for you to have the thing. You can have this other thing instead? Would you like a cuddle?" and they always accept a cuddle, even if it's a limb thrashing flailing and kicking meltdown. "Your upset. It's ok to be upset it's not ok to kick me. I love you and I'm here if you want a cuddle." My response is always the same whether we're at home or out. My 3yo can tell my 1yo exactly what I'm going to say if someone tantrums because it's like a script repeated so many times 😆

For us the tantrums all stem from wanting more independence and trying to do things themselves or get things or have things that I don't want them to have yet. So I stop and think well what can I do to help you? And then I chose the path of least resistance. The path of "this is going to happen eventually, I'll help to make it safer though."

This is just a little that I do. No idea whether it is the way it should be handled or not but it works for us.