Parenting with ME/CFS

[JLT24]

I’m having my first baby soon and have ME/CFS. It can fluctuate between mild and moderate. Looking for practical tips on ways to parent whilst pacing and managing energy.

For background I don’t work currently, my husband works from home 2 days a week and is in the office 3 days a week. We don’t have any support in place except a plan to use a childminder on his office days once the baby is 9 months old.

I don't have experience of ME/CFS but parenting is exhausting so it's a great idea to think about how you'll manage beforehand. Sleep deprivation will be the biggest issue in the early days so having a plan for night times would help. Some people find taking it in shifts helpful so each parent have a solid chunk of sleep. Have you thought about how you will be feeding baby? Have you got any family support around? Maybe think before baby arrives about batch cooking and freezing meals so that's one less thing to think about when baby is here. When friends and family visit ask them if they can help out with something to help lighten your load.

Get some emdr or trauma therapy, often chronic fatigue is connected to a physical trauma response, the more mental energy you have the more physical energy you’ll have, this was my experience anyway

Consider bottle feeding alongside or instead of breastfeeding. Being the only one who can feed the baby is exhausting, especially if you get one that feeds every two hours day and night for months!

I have ME/CFS and I'm a lone parent. Yep, it's bloody hard and I don't have any particular advice for you, sadly. Just keep going and work out a routine that works for you. If you need to lay down, then do it. If you need to turn to support - do it and don't feel guilty.