On 2 separate occasions, 2 different mothers of kids in my son’s class have pointed out different things about my child’s appearance. He is 6.
My son has a skin tag on his neck that looks like a little ball under his skin, less than 5mm. He was born with it and I made the decision when he was a baby to let him decide what he wants to do with it when he’s older. I’ve always told him it makes him special and unique. He also has quite noticeable eczema on his arms and legs that flares up every now and then, which he is very self conscious about and has only just started wearing shorts and t-shirts willingly. I reassure him that lots of children have eczema, his dad had it and it’s not a serious thing.
The first instance, one of the mums pointed out his skin tag and said, in an alarmed voice, “what’s that? what happened?” I said “what?” and she said “that!” still pointing. I replied in an irritated, dismissive tone, “he was born with it.”
The second time, a different mum pointed at the eczema on his legs and says “what are those spots?” I said in a low voice, “don’t say that in front of him.” she replied, “I was saying it to you, not him.” I said in an annoyed tone, “he can hear you.”
Oh by the way, both times my son was 2 or 3 feet away and was in earshot of both comments. He didn’t say anything to me and I didn’t mention it to him in case he hadn’t heard them. But I don’t want him to internalise the comments if he did hear. I feel really angry that I have to deal with these comments. Don’t they have anything better to talk about? Why do they need to know? Why would they be so oblivious to say it in front of my son? I kind of expect these questions from a child, but not an adult who have children of their own. How can I build up his self esteem when I have to deal with these bitches? They’re just being ignorant, rude and mean.
I’m not really friends with either of these women, I just see them regularly at school pick up, parks and kids’ parties. My son isn’t close friends with their children, thank goodness. In my mind, I’ve been thinking of things I should have said in the moment. How do I deal with this in the future? I feel devastated on my son’s behalf. Just had to get this off my chest!