Coparenting???
Hi all, opinions welcome and advice
I have a 7 month old little girl, her dad has 2 kids from a previous relationship & so do I. Our relationship called ends mid pregnancy which was upsetting obviously. However dad was really hands on and I couldn’t have asked for better in terms of doing everything he could to attend and be present for our daughter. We agreed whilst she was a newborn he would stay here every other weekend (the weekends we didn’t have our other children) and he used to stay a lot in the first few weeks to help me out, doing meals for all of us including the kids that are not his. Just amazing. We haven’t been intimate since I was about 8 months pregnant.
His sons have met their new sister and he will sometimes collect her and take her for a few hours on his weekend with his sons. However said he wants to keep a set weekend for his sons & a set weekend for our daughter so he can give them all the 1 to 1 attention he wants. I have since asked him if he’d like to stay having our daughter at his (crying for some girly free time) as we spend every other weekend as a 3.
He doesn’t want a relationship and has never pushed for anything intimate either despite us sharing the same bed when he stays. Everytime I mention about him start having her by himself it seems to trigger him, he gets upset says I ‘pick him up and drop him when it suits’ and that ‘he will always care about me’ I have been open and honest about how I’m feeling and get no response back so I’ve accepted the relationship side of things will never continue. He also insists of texting all day everyday when we’re not together, for example one day I tried finishing a convo early and I’d get ‘you done with speaking with me for the day then?’
Do you think this is more of a control side of things and him knowing if I had a free weekend I’d be perhaps with people / doing things out of his control or do you think he’s just scared to fully let me go on the chance of me moving on? I’m so confused with the whole situation, we get on like a house on fire don’t get me wrong but spending weekends with him still it’s not helping me heal in anyway. I care about this man deeply and he knows this but I also know I deserve somebody who wants all of me not just my free time and that I need to move on with my life. I just don’t want the arguments but I know we was lose our friendship over this too