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Parenting

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Single mums only please.

6 replies

Secretlysurviving · 28/06/2024 19:19

Hi I'm feeling really down at the moment. I am seeing happy families everywhere and as much as I am happy for them it hurts my heart so much.

All I ever wanted was a happy family and a secure solid one. My little girls dad and I broke up because I found out he cheated earlier on in the relationship and we fell out of love after this. I met my sons father soon after and we were so in love. But he turned out to not be what it seems. He was very verbally emotionally and psychologically abusive and thrives off playing mind games. I had to leave for my kids they deserve better. But I see how people can have one man and stick to them and have the family I dream of. I feel like a failure I feel heartbroken. Where did I go wrong😞. I feel so upset today and I just feel so emotional about the situation. Does anyone else feel this way?

OP posts:
Secretlysurviving · 28/06/2024 19:20

Secretlysurviving · 28/06/2024 19:19

Hi I'm feeling really down at the moment. I am seeing happy families everywhere and as much as I am happy for them it hurts my heart so much.

All I ever wanted was a happy family and a secure solid one. My little girls dad and I broke up because I found out he cheated earlier on in the relationship and we fell out of love after this. I met my sons father soon after and we were so in love. But he turned out to not be what it seems. He was very verbally emotionally and psychologically abusive and thrives off playing mind games. I had to leave for my kids they deserve better. But I see how people can have one man and stick to them and have the family I dream of. I feel like a failure I feel heartbroken. Where did I go wrong😞. I feel so upset today and I just feel so emotional about the situation. Does anyone else feel this way?

May I add I am no angel!!! But some things I just can't tolerate and I think cheating and abuse are valid? Idk.

OP posts:
LondonFox · 28/06/2024 19:41

In the best possible way, you probably need to take a bit more time to judge and test future partners.

Also, A LOT of people stay in absolutely shit marriages filled with abuse, cheating, resentment etc. just not to be alone. It's not like your situation is versus happy rainbow couples. Many of them just endure the shitshow.

Secretlysurviving · 28/06/2024 19:43

LondonFox · 28/06/2024 19:41

In the best possible way, you probably need to take a bit more time to judge and test future partners.

Also, A LOT of people stay in absolutely shit marriages filled with abuse, cheating, resentment etc. just not to be alone. It's not like your situation is versus happy rainbow couples. Many of them just endure the shitshow.

I definitely need to judge future partners better I agree lesson learnt the hard way..

People do stay to not be along tbf it's just hard to see

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DumbassHamsterSitterPerson · 28/06/2024 19:46

I've been a single mum for the best part of 14 years.

I absolutely know what you mean. But then I remember all the positives of being single, and how shit my DCs Dad turned out to be.

Plus so many of the single/coupled up parents I know are actually miserable!

Secretlysurviving · 28/06/2024 19:58

DumbassHamsterSitterPerson · 28/06/2024 19:46

I've been a single mum for the best part of 14 years.

I absolutely know what you mean. But then I remember all the positives of being single, and how shit my DCs Dad turned out to be.

Plus so many of the single/coupled up parents I know are actually miserable!

Yes it's just hard I suppose I just feel I let myself and my kids down. Especially with my sons dad pretty much refusing to see him now that he knows I'm serious about us breaking up :( makes me feel more guilty

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DumbassHamsterSitterPerson · 28/06/2024 20:10

Secretlysurviving · 28/06/2024 19:58

Yes it's just hard I suppose I just feel I let myself and my kids down. Especially with my sons dad pretty much refusing to see him now that he knows I'm serious about us breaking up :( makes me feel more guilty

I get that. But he's the problem here, not you. I know it's easy to say that. But it's true.
Be gentle with yourself.

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