17 year old struggling

[Ollylodge]

My son who is 17 years old...is going through alot of changes...he lost his dad 2 years ago...then it was gcse....then college placement...now apprenticeship...its all been so much for to handle...he has finally spoke up and said he depressed and struggling....I've tried to talk to him and listen...he's got no motivation to get up....I've found him a therapist which will be his 4th visit tonight....I'm also struggling with the loss of a partner...and my son feeling so low and I can't stop crying....I want him to be ok....I don't want to burden him with how I feel

Sounds tough on you both. Are you seeing a councillor too?

No im not seeing a councillor...I do have work colleagues that I sometimes turn too...so I can get things of my chest

Perhaps you should consider some form of psychotherapy for yourself. Dealing with a depressed child can place a huge burden on parents, especially single ones.

That's so hard on you both, OP

It's very reassuring that he's actually told you this, and you've been able through get him help.

From long-experience, when the time is right a hands-on hobby or activity is so important to get through hard times like this.

Do you get to to nice things together much? Cinema etc

Not much in the past....but we are starting too...bike rides....I've booked us a holiday in September for a week, be plenty of swimming etc....we've started a memory book....which helps us both...going to alton towers next Saturday...thank you

My son has opened up a little...he's told me things when he's been to his therapist....I find it so hard I miss him even though we live in the same house...I understand he's 17 and wants private time which we all need from time to time....we have been doing more things together...life can be such a bitch at times...I have to work to keep the wolves at bay....my son is due to go back to work on the 24th July...I feel he doesn't want to go back...I don't want to add further pressure on him

I just want to say how well you sound like you are doing as you've had a lot to manage and you sound like you really listen to your DS and care; I think it's a really tough age at the best of times and we are just sitting tight with our teen as find it tough too. Like you I try and find positive things to do together . I also like them to realise things do get easier and not many things are permanent as sometimes the world they are in feels so fixed when really it isn't .
Could you ask him for solutions eg say I've noticed you don't seem to want to go back and is there anything you'd like to do you might feel more positive about ? A friend taught me to do this instead of giving advice , to just ask questions to help them work it out