Smoking Cannabis in the house

[drainedparent]

My ex partner and new girlfriend have been smoking weed in the house. Upon collection my son stunk of weed who is four. His girlfriend has cerebral palsy who I think finds it easier to smoke it in the house than go outside.

his girlfriend posted a TikTok with a joint in her mouth, and it’s obvious she was smoking it inside but you can’t tell it’s lit and they’re trying to justify it that way by saying it wasn’t lit.

i don’t feel safe my son staying there. But his new girlfriends sister is a police officer, and her mam is a foster carer. They’re clearly all used to pulling the wool over the authorises eyes.

i don’t have a leg to stand on cos his dad is only abusive on telephone and I’ve got texts where I’ve had meltdowns and not been nice to my sons dad. I don’t feel safe my son staying there but what else can I do? Everything is so nasty parenting couldn’t be worse at the moment

Sorry i wouldn’t sending him there again and i would let your ex go through the courts. Maybe ring Citizens Advice in the morning?

Thank you. I have known about his weed addiction but he never smoked it in the house. The only thing is I can’t proper prove it and now he knows I’m onto him, he’ll hide it. And he will be awarded overnights and contact and in the end I’ll be accused of stopping him from seeing his son

i am genuinely so so concerned I can’t ensure his safety there

What is is about the smoking that makes you feel your son is unsafe?

It's not good parenting but it really is little different from them drinking some alcohol.

If your ex is only abusive via telephone can touch stop speaking to him on the phone and only talk to him via email and text? That way there should be more evidence. Was he ever abusive to you when you were together and did you report it to the Police?

Does he drive DS around at all?

And have you spoken to SS about your concerns?

Sorry forgot to ask if there is a Child Arrangements Order in place?

Yeah he was verbally abusive and punched holes in wall but never reported it. We spilt pretty quickly after son was born. He doesn’t drive. I haven’t spoken to them, I do want to call social services but I recently called them about another family, when my sons dads friends are drug dealers, lock their kids in their rooms, party and neglect their kids and social services did a report and closed it down. So I can’t seem then being much help as my sons dads girlfriends mam is a foster carer herself. Her daughter smokes weed. And her other daughter is a police officer. They clearly know how to get around the authorities

No child’s arrangement order. He’d be granted overnight stays and 50% custody. Evidence wise I don’t have a leg to stand on, and his girlfriends mam will support him in every way to get his son, so I can’t see it going too well or being in my sons best interest

stopping contact wouldn’t go best on my side, but I can’t be putting my son at risk. I truly truly don’t know what to do. I feel so poorly the treatment from my sons dad

Well it would seem like that but there is no harm in phoning SS for some advice?