My child won’t sleep alone

[Firsttimemum267]

Looking for some advice as a first time mum. My child who is now almost 2 will not sleep alone, they slept in their next to me crib until they were about 6 months and then moved to their cot in their own room, all was well until the 9 month sleep regression. We persevered but ultimately ended up co sleeping most nights and this carried on until they were around 1yr 4 months.

At this point we bought a bed in hopes this would solve the problems as they have always been a very active sleeper and moving a lot so thought it may have been a space issue, now they will sleep in the bed but only if myself or dad sleep with them.

I have no idea how to stop this cycle, we have tried the cry it out method, the timed going in and out. When doing this my child won’t even lay down, just either sit up and scream or stand up and scream, this breaks my heart. I really don’t know where to go from here.

This is my first post so please be kind,
Thank you in advance!

I just bought a super king and now co-sleep with my toddlers. I really don't mind as they tend to sleep OK as long as it's my bed. If it's their bed then I find they wake up loads and I spend most of the night lying next to them until they're asleep then creeping out...on repeat until they wake up again crying for me. I can put them to bed then have my evening and from the point they first wake up they then come in with me.

Similar to me. My son always goes to sleep in his own bed, but if (when) he wakes, he comes into me and we both have a lovely sleep. Started off at midnight, then 2am etc. Now he gets into bed with me at 5am and it’s been this way for around a month now. In total, him waking up and coming in with us has around 6 months.

I still get my evenings which is an important thing for me. There may be someone along to offer more effective techniques but I’d say don’t pressure yourself. Sleep can feel like a really vulnerable time for kids, my son wakes up scared of dinosaurs (even though he loves and plays with his toy dinosaurs all day lol). He’ll get there,
just needs some Mummy cuddles for the interim.

Perfectly normal for such a little kid to want a parent. Our culture in the UK is exceptionally weird and requires us to put the kid in their own room

we got a thin Ikea bed and put it in our room right beside our bed. Remove furniture if necessary, like bedside tables etc. at one time we had both in with us. We have the dog in with us as well. Or get a superking as pp suggested.

but whatever you do, don’t judge yourself by our loony cultural “norms” or use these methods of letting the child cry. Look at your child and listen to him/her and use your own judgement. S/he just wants to be with you, natural and normal.

Honestly just sleep with them. It's easier. My little boy is 6 and still sleeps with me and dad. Who's to say what's normal? He goes to his own bed perfectly happy every night and then in the morning, there he is, right in the middle of my husband and myself. We don't even notice him coming in anymore. But we all sleep great.

Same here. We all just operated on wherever the most people get the most sleep is where we slept. So I was in with both dds for years, and DH was eventually on a bed next to us as the main bed was too small. Or he slept in the girls’ unused bed !

100% this.

I also succumbed to co-sleeping. DD didn't sleep through a night until she was 6! Always went to sleep in her own bed but came into me about 1.30. She's now 11 and would still sleep with me every night if I would let her. One thing that I have only very recently realised helps her to sleep is a fan, so maybe some white noise might help?

When my daughter was nearly 3 I made a conscious decision to get in bed with her after her story and snuggle her to sleep. It is still one of the best parenting decisions I've ever made - I cannot tell you how lovely that time has become for me and for her. She falls asleep after about 10-20 minutes and then I leave and go downstairs to my evening. And if she wakes in the night I go in and sleep with her. They're still so little, I want her to know I'm there when she needs us.

Currently I sleep in her bed if she wakes because our bed just gets so crowded with 3 of us in it but when I have the budget I'll probably just get a king size and then she can just get in with us. She is a happy, independent 5-year-old and I have no worries about her being too clingy or whatever else is supposed to happen if you don't make them fall asleep on their own.