Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

When does the age gap shrink

3 replies

Thankfkitsfriday · 23/06/2024 16:24

I'm having a hard time accepting the age gap between my children

I'm 10 years younger than my siblings and I felt quite lonely. Just completely different stages of life. I know this isn't the case for everyone but for me it was, so I vowed I'd have my children close in age. My first is nearly 7 and my second has only just turned 1. I was pregnant inbetween but had a loss and took ages to become pregnant with both children (about a year and a half, no cause found) I absolutely adore my kids but every time we look to do something as a family the activity doesn't really suit one or the other kid. So a lot of 1:1 time is done which isn't a bad thing but it just seems everyone has children close in age that can do stuff together because it suits both ages. (I know not everyone, it just feels like it) everything that my oldest wants to do the younger one cant because she's too young and everything the younger one can do it doesn't entertain my eldest because it's boring. Even in the park there's 2 different play parks one aimed at younger kids one aimed at older so neither of them really play together again because ones too little and ones too big, so I end up dealing with a older bored child or a crying baby/toddler because everything is too big and unsuitable for her to go on.

It doesn't help they're polar opposites my first is really outgoing active sporty the younger one is very clingy, doesn't like anyone including her sister and will latch onto me or her dad. My eldest was never like that at any age so I think it's a personality thing, even if the eldest does try and play with the younger one she doesn't want to know. They're both girls.

The 2 things that work are swimming and park. Eldest can swim so I can hold younger one and the park if its just the green bit not the play park. Although they can't really play together because again younger one doesn't really understand how to play actual games. I know that will change it just seems like they are and always will be in completely different stages of life, especially with levels of understanding.

My friend said recently that a couple of times when her children were young teenagers she took them to a couple of late night concerts and it was the best. I don't know if I'd ever be able to do that with them both. By the time younger one is old enough the eldest might not want to be associated with me!! I know it's the hard baby/toddler phase right now that doesn't help but it does bum me out sometimes. I know i am incredibly lucky and that's what snaps me out of it but is there anything anyone can suggest activity wise? Any insight as to when it gets better? Anyone to share experiences with? Sorry this turned into such a long post

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
NoSquirrels · 23/06/2024 16:30

So you’re at the hardest stage - in less than 2 years your only just toddler will be closer to preschool age and they’ll be able to play in the park together, older one helping the younger one. I’ll bet youngest will get less clingy, and eldest will get more interested in her, when she’s not an actual baby. Most other activities then will also be easier and more possible.

And even if you can‘t take them both to concerts, you can do that 1-2-1 with each DD.

It’s just time, really. Be patient.

Do you have a partner? Family activities are going to be easier for a bit with 2 adults. But stuff like animal parks & farms, walking in the woods, National Trust etc work for all ages and stages.

sleekcat · 23/06/2024 16:41

I have a 7.5 year age gap. We used to do things like zoo, younger theme parks, beach visits, swimming, soft play (found that great as older sibling could go in there instead of me!) A lot of the time we took along a friend for the eldest so they would have a better time, as a small toddler doesn't really need another child to play with.

As for the age gap shrinking, I'm not sure as it depends on the situation.

siameselife · 23/06/2024 16:58

My sibling who has that age gap is my best friend. The gap closed when they were at Uni and I was in my 20's.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page