Odd behaviour from 9 year old daughter

[ash677x]

So for about 5 weeks my 9 year old daughter has had a habit of hiding her soiled pants down the side of her bed, because she was embarrassed she had an accident, we addressed this and now she puts them In a wash basket. Then it turned into she had stained bedsheets, almost like long streaks of poo like she had just ran her fingers down it, and stained fingers and she couldn't tell me why she was doing this. Yesterday evening I found actual poo down the side of her bed, and also smeared on the walls and on the sides of her bed frame. I was absolutely horrified and obviously my first reaction is angry with her as this is ridiculous at 9 years old. She CAN use a toilet, she does not do this at my mother's house, or at school. When I asked her why she has been doing this she could not give her a reason. I can't think of any other option than to take her to the GP. She does not have ASD, or sensory issues (I've seen this done before when I worked with children with ASD) My hearts broke why this is happening.

Has this only started recently, hoe long ago did you start finding the soiled pants?

Young victims of sexual abuse sometimes have very bad hygiene in an attempt to make themselves unattractive to their abuser. Of course it could also be nothing of the sort.

If all physical issues are ruled out then if you can afford it I would see a therapist privately as you will be waiting potentially years for a CAMHS referal.

I've been finding the pants on and off for about 4-5 months now. She did say she was having small accidents and getting embarrassed about it and scared of what I would say. They weren't heavily soiled pants, only like skidmarks.

Is she constipated? It could be overflow

Does she have constipation? Little bits of soiling can be a sign of constipation and she is probably embarrassed and scared.

Ask gently if it hurts her to poo and to keep a diary of when she poos. If it does hurt, see a doctor for laxatives and look up the charity ERIC for advice.

Threadworms, which are itching at night causing her to dig around in her bottom to try to relieve the itching, then get poop on her fingers, and wipe it?

That would be my guess.

Smearing is associated with Autism. Is she neurodivergent?

NB: That's not to say all Autistic children do this, as they certainly don't

She is not Autistic/ASD or anything of the sort. These are all helpful suggestions thank you

Gosh that must smell the house out.
No real advice apart from you have to keep talking to her or be a bit harsh and make her clean her own poo up.
If shes only doing it at night do you think maybe shes scared of the dark night light might help.

She needs to see the GP, I'd be thinking encopresis - impacted poo which causes overflow which she can't control. Whatever the outcome, behavior like this from a NT 9 yr old needs medical attention

Constipation and over flow is my thought. Very common. And not at all in her control.

Worms?? Very itchy and she may be poking around due to this. I would treat her anyway. Just get the tablets from the chemist. This would be the best reason honestly as you can just deal with it.

Is she constipated? She is obviously putting her finger up her bottom so must be uncomfortable about something.

Any possibility at all if being abused? Sorry to ask but this can be a sign. Who has access to her?

5 weeks or 4-5 months?

This really sounds like overflow incontinence to me, would be a good idea to see a GP with her to rule out any physical problems before thinking psychological.
My 9yo would probably be embarrassed if this happened to her too and maybe try to hide it

Take her to the doctor and get it checked. My first thoughts would be constipation or threadworms.

Yep, constipation is what comes to mind too.

If this has been going in fur a few months too, I’d recommend a visit to the GP too.

I think if she's that embarrassed she probably can't help it. My guess is oberflow diarrhoea because of constipation. Perhaps it inly happens in her own bed when she fully relaxes. I would take her to the GP.