Frustration with a toddler

[Notstopoil]

whats the best way to deal with toddler tantrums? I found myself today ignoring the tantrum, expressing my frustration, being very stern and cold in the end. At which point it dawned on me that I’d be upset if someone was talking to me in such a manner.
obviously when it’s in the moment you feel everyone is watching and judging you.
I would say 99% of the time I let things blow over me head, but today I’m feeling guilt ridden for telling my 2 year old to stop being so moody and difficult

My daughter used to have terrible tantrums and they were with because she had been asked not to do something or pure frustration, either way they were epic tantrums!

my response was explain why they can’t do xyz , then ask them if they want a cuddle and to help me get a drink/snack/let the dog in the garden etc this was usually enough to stop the tantrum after a few minutes.

if it was frustrations then again I’d offer a cuddle or so go play a game.

if they declined the above I left her too it, if we were in public I would do the above but cap it to a few minutes before I said, ok, let’s go home. You have to follow through though, we missed a number of planned events due to this but it soon stopped the tantrums in public.

I feel your frustration. My 19m has entered epic meltdown phase. Yesterday was one of the worst days we’ve had since becoming parents. I’ll admit I was in tears by lunchtime.

I appreciate the advice from the above poster but my child is too young to understand this type of reasoning fully (of course we’re still trying this) so that just doesn’t work. He’s also very into exploring how hard he can hit or how many things he can throw, both in general but especially when in a tantrum. I’m keen to see other replies on this thread.

We just acknowledge that what ever upset them has upset them , explain why its not happening and then offer a hug. Ds often rejects the hug so I tell him I'll be over here if you feel you want a hug and he usually comes over . But also there's just times that doesn't work and I get frustrated myself and try not to get into it with him any further. Sometimes the more I try to reason with him . The worse he gets

I ignore it. I don't shout or act cold, I don't try to reason him out of it or shower him with comfort. I just ignore him until he's done and carry on busying myself with something else. The second it's over the fun can start again. Bright and breezy and all the usual fun and cuddles/whatever we were doing before.

I might say, "we can play together again/do x y z when you've calmed down", then I just leave him to it.

Doesn't last long because he gets no attention from it.