Respect and think of others

[Angel2006]

I have a 17 year old son. Who doesn't have respect for my self or for my partner. (Step Dad) I've been having trouble with him for a couple of years. Won't do as he is told. He always thinks if himself. Doesn't do anything for anybody else.

If you ask him to do anything. He won't do It or it takes him ages or days to do anything. But when he wants anything he gets what he wants. I've tried everything but he still doesn't care.

I've been under a lot of pressure over the last two years. He knows this. Rather then help is mum he doesn't help he creates more issues for me to deal with.

I've have issues over food. He's a very fussy eater he doesn't like a lot of cheese he doesn't like spicy food. He doesn't like to try anything new.

My partner puts food on the table for myself and my son. But he refuses to eat as he doesn't wanna eat basic food. I have said for him to cook for me and him and I will cook for my son. But my partner is refusing for me to do this. But it as come a problem as he won't eat and then I get it in the neck as my some won't eat what we would like to eat.

All of this as come a problem with myself and my partner it is cause a wedge between us. I don't know what to do anymore
Any suggestions

Can anybody help me with how I can solve this issue

Won’t do as he’s told? Like what? And what consequences are there when this happens?
Meal plan as a family? He eats with you or cooks for himself?

Your partner needs to take a whole step back for starters and not act like a child because you deem your 17 year old to be fussy.

It's also not clear how he is being disrespectful to either of you. It sounds like you need him to do your bidding, he doesn't want to and you're both unhappy about it. Maybe more context is needed but you sound unreasonable and overly critical.

If there's an issue between your son and partner, I would look at the behaviour you and your partner exhibit as the very first step to understanding what might be going wrong.