Does anyone still feel a bit meh about parenting?

[FlowersAndFairiesAndPie]

I'll probably get slammed for this but in all honesty I don't think I've ever enjoyed parenting. Child is now 6 and most of the time I just find it hard work. I'm not a naturally playful person and really have to work at parenting. I take him out and he had a great life but honestly I cannot wait for him to go to bed so I can have time to myself.

We have play dates and family support ! However it's hard to get people together and I end up giving up trying to arrange things.

Yes I can relate to this. I feel awful too. I feel like I only look forward to my child free time (which is very rare). I do love them and I like to think I meet all their needs including forcing myself to play endless games which I find dull but I find it such hard work. I don’t really get any down time at all though. I wonder of I’d feel better if I had some more time to myself?

In a way it's possibly easier to have more than 1 because they can entertain each other and don't need you to play with them so much.

I am dreaming of this future (currently have a 7mnth and a 3 yr old and it’s really tough at times!)

I feel exactly like this op. My dd is 6, 7 next month.
I don’t enjoy it.
I feel awful about it. I absolutely hate feeling like this. I love her of course, I tell her all the time and I know I do everything I should be doing and a lot more.

I can put on a good show for the most part but I hate the weekends.
I absolutely peaked at about 4:30 today.
I could feel my chest getting tight.

I know she’s being a 6 year old and it’s me but I can’t help the way I feel.

DDs always been generally well behaved but I find keeping her entertained such a slog. I like a good day out but day to day I don't want to play, it makes so much mess, she's getting fussier and fussier with food and battling bed time. It's just do tedious a lot of the time, I thank my lucky stars every day that she's a good sleeper

Do I find him difficult, argumentative, hard work or boring? Sure I do sometimes but he also feels the same about me so we are even. 😁

This made me chuckle as at the moment with my DS, this sums it up perfectly..... and everything os boooring !!

Yep and we go again tomorrow, the nights never seem long enough 😅
I love my son more than anything but parenting is definitely not natural to me and I constantly question myself if I am good enough, doing the right thing, I guess I am reassured by a little boy who tell me he loves me 100 times a day ☺️

I loved the baby stage but I think it was more being off work lol.

I think it’s fine not to love every stage. I have a friend who said he didn’t like parenting until his kids were about 7. I honestly wouldn’t dwell on it too much.

Thank you for saying this. It’s the constant demands to play and come up with games that get me. I have two but they want me to play with them. And then there’s the arguments, having to intervene before they hurt each other. Also they both have superhuman levels of energy, so it can be 9.30-10 before I can get them both asleep, there’s no evening time to myself.

I really loved the baby stage too. I think it’s the having to entertain constantly that I find so draining these days. As babies they were not easy, colic etc but I seemed ok with that. I’m just not someone who enjoys playing with children sadly!

Here in lies the issue. Most people wouldn’t enjoy the needful stuff. Unfortunately some of us don’t like the rest of it either, try as we might.

I’m with you OP. My son is younger but I just don’t enjoy any of it. I really thought I would but then to just all hard, all the time. My poor son.

I’m with you OP. My son is younger but I just don’t enjoy any of it. I really thought I would but then to just all hard, all the time. My poor son.

DH who is genuinely enamoured by being a parent once said to me when I was in a very dark moment “who the fuck would enjoy this, no sleep, no time to yourself, it’s like being a servant” he said it happily with a grin on his face it’s just that for him he enjoys all the other stuff too.

I just want to be left alone to do ME stuff and not be on call 24/7. I love my DD and pour a lot into her but I’m not sure I have natural mum capacity. I’m often horrified by parents who wish the summer holidays were longer. WHY!?? It has got easier as she’s got older tbf but still I miss the days when I only had to worry about myself and had actual choice over what to do with my time and not worry about how many fries someone who’s not me is eating, I think I may just be a very selfish person.

My ex left it all to me for 4 years now he's not single he does more. My mum didn't like being a parent and we don't have a good relationship. I really work at it and don't let it show but I think secretly he must know.

Friends of ours at trying for a baby. They have a child whose 9. Sorry but I just think why extend your child rearing that long !!!!

I think some posters need to give themselves a break and stop feeling bad about not liking parenting. A lot of it is mundane and repetitive and tiresome. It’s always been that way, my parents and grandparents would be the first to say that. There is just so much more expectation these days to ‘cherish every minute’. It’s toxic positivity at its finest and unsurprisingly, generally only levelled at women. It’s also totally okay to find ‘play’ boring - there is a reasons adults don’t sit round pretending to be on trains or in cafes or in Tesco. It’s not something our brains require, unlike little children. Just being present is enough - you really don’t have to enjoy it! You all love your children but please don’t feel bad about finding the day in day out difficult. It makes you an honest human, not a bad one.

@FlowersAndFairiesAndPie being a grandparent is much nicer imo.
I love my dc but my dgc are on another level of adoration.

A lot of it is pretty repetitive, yes. 😂

It's disappointing when you think you're going to enjoy something or be good at it and you're not 😀

I don't think there's any right or wrong way to feel OP. Largely it's a relentless, gruelling, repetitive task - raising a young child. I think some parents really love the earlier years and others ( like me) enjoy it much more as they get a bit more independent. I think when they're aged about 7-10 is quite sweet and now my boy is 14 he's lovely and I'm enjoying hanging out with the young man he's becoming.

Whenever I'm having a tough day parenting (which is very often) I remind myself that they're only going to be little for so long. And will never be little again. And I remind myself to notice their beautiful little faces, and bodies, and smiles, and to soak it up. And to notice how beautiful they are when they're sleeping, when I tuck them in. And that fills my cup, and helps enormously :)

Thanks everyone