I've not had any baby free time since my baby was born 5 months ago, am I missing out?

[MrsSquirrelNutkin]

I saw a post on instagram today from a girl who had her baby 4 weeks ago and she was having her first baby free afternoon. I asked my mother (who's had 5 kids) when she first did this and she said when baby were a couple of months. It got me thinking, I've never had even a baby free hour since my baby was born.

I have tried a few times to get my baby to take expressed milk from a bottle and he wouldn't, the last time I tried though was admittedly nearly 3 months ago.

But tbh, I've not felt like I have really wanted baby free time, is this usual for a first time mum? Everything I liked to do before I just take my baby. Walking, shopping, if I get my hair cut he comes with me. If me and hubby want to go for breakfast lunch or dinner baby just comes with us. I don't drink so it's not like I want a night out. And baby is a great sleeper so in the evening me and hubby can have intimate time.

Am I missing out on a world of fun by not leaving my baby with my parents for a few hours?! I question whether I'm too attached and it's a bad thing.

I barely had any time away from mine in the first year, I just didn't want to leave him and just loved being with him, nothing wrong with that :)

I think people tell us we should have time away from our babies as they either want to have 1-2-1 time or because that’s what they do.

My DD (9m) has been left for an hour with DH twice. I’ve had plenty of offers for others to babysit but I breastfeed and I can’t really be bothered to get her used to a bottle. She also co-sleeps too. Unfortunately her lifestyle means that she wouldn’t be able to be left but that’s ok, that works for us.

We take her everywhere with us. We’ve turned down a few invitations but we’re not particularly bothered. We take her regularly out for dinner, she’s been to a few parties with us and the pub too.

As far as I’m concerned I’d rather have the convenience of co-sleeping/breastfeeding on demand than the occasional night out. DH works all week, he wants to spend as much time as possible with her too. We do joke that why do babysitters offer to babysit at night when a lay in is what we’d like.

If you’re happy what does it matter? I’ve been having solo walks since baby was a month old, just half an hour. I really need the headspace!

I've never felt much need for baby-free time tbh. My dc and 2 and 6 now and they have been with me until they started preschool at age 2 (youngest hasn't started yet), except a handful of appointments where they weren't allowed (I do take her to GP appointments where I'm just talking). DH has offered to look after them while I go and do something for myself, but I end up deciding on balance that I'd rather spend time with them than doing anything else.

Part of it is that I'm a sahm and will continue to be once the youngest is in preschool and through the school years. So I'll get time for myself soon, and I'm looking forward to it. I see it as putting lots of work into the early years, for plenty of free time once they're more independent and in school.

Everyone is different, we had one of those unicorn babies that ate and slept. I'd put him in the bedside cot wide awake after a feed and he'd just go to sleep, from birth! So I didn't 'need' a break as such but I think around 5 months me and DH popped out for three hours for a meal and some drinks and at 6 months my parents had him overnight as we had gig tickets to my favourite band.

It was really weird at first but I think when you have a baby you end up interacting with your partner in such a monotonous and repetitive way (standard baby care stuff). That a night off, or even just a couple of hours is a total tonic. It's really important to maintain the bond as a couple and not just as parents.

I think the only baby free time I had in the first five months (after that went back to work part time) was when I left him with friends so I could visit my husband in hospital. I was breastfeeding so it was only a couple hours.
S not unusual at all.

If you’re happy and you’re not doing it out of anxiety or anything, how could it be a bad thing? If there’s nothing you want to do but can’t, you’re obviously not missing out on anything.

Just take baby free time when you're ready for it. I had a sleepy baby so didn't feel any need for a break. She was easy to take anywhere with no bother. Also had plenty of free time at home as she was sleeping! She slept a lot for the first 6 months.

But I can totally appreciate that other moms would want a break if they have a child that doesn't sleep. My friend's baby screamed non stop for months... it was really hard for her. She really needed a break.

Just do what you feel comfortable with.

I had baby free time when dd was about 3mos I believe (def needed it before then!) I found someone to watch her for a few hours every day during the week so I could do other things. I needed that break, else I would’ve lost it.

everyone is different

I'm exactly the same as you, i just cant be bothered to get him used to the bottle! Im very lucky in that ive found breastfeeding so easy and convenient i cant bring myself to try anything else haha!

I did not BF but I either went put myself when my husband was at home or my child was with relatives from not long after birth really

Or we went away for a few days while our baby was with relatives, I saw no issue with it and just worked it out somehow, sure I or we missed our baby but I don't this need to be tied to each other 24/7

I live for baby-free time. I don’t get any sleep and she wants to contact nap during the day. I am now experiencing bad anxiety from being so touched out. It can depend what kind of baby you have.