Late preterm newborn not sleeping at night, help!!!

[Treetopflops]

Our baby was born at 35 weeks and he is now 8 days old. I am breast feeding but I wonder if he has a poor latch so I have arranged for a lactation consultant to come to us next week. I have been topping him up with 2-4 bottles of expressed milk throughout the day but yesterday I reduced this to 2 bottles as I felt that baby was getting enough from breastfeeding. Today I have given him no bottles. I felt that the bottles had tiny air bubbles in them.

Baby isn’t sleeping well at all at night but during the day will sleep absolutely fine in his moses basket. At night he seems to be in a lot of discomfort, he squirms, grunts, throws his legs in the air. He also moves his head from side to side and sticks his tongue out, which I think are feeding cues. When he does that I take him from his noses basket and attempt to feed him however he continues to squirm and not open his mouth wide enough to latch.

The whole process of trying to feed him and get him back down takes around an hour and it’s a matter of minutes before he’s grunting.

Whenever I wind him after feeds he never burps, he has probably only burped a handful of times. I have tried bicycle legs etc which I do think has maybe helped him pass some wind but it doesn’t stop the problem we are having at night.

Can anyone offer any advice please?

At this age they don't know the difference between day and night, so will just sleep when they sleep. It's normal to be up for an hour at a time, multiple times in the night. Its also normal gor them to be noisy and restless at night, even when asleep. I was changing nappies 3 or 4 times a night at that age too, as they will wriggle about and fuss if uncomfortable.

That all said, if you intuition is that it it discomfort then speak to your health visitor or GP (video the behaviour at night that is worrying you).

If you're struggling to get enough rest, you may need to find some someone to help you out for blocks of time. My husband used to take the baby downstairs from 6am to 10am at this stage, to give me a reasonable block of sleep.

The do gradually figure out that night is night- keep things dark and quiet, and interactions low at nighttime, to help drop the hint.

Sounds like very normal newborn behavior. They are more active at night, they have periods of active sleep and they are noisy! Especially between 2-6 am.
They feel safe in our arms where they can smell us. Waking when we put them down is normal. Have you read about the 4th trimester?
It's hard but it will pass. Enjoy the cuddles.

Thanks for replying @Mistralli. Totally understand that he doesn’t know day from night, I really should sleep when he sleeps during the day and perhaps the nights won’t feel as bad. I think the trouble is I’ve been getting too many visitors (have cancelled all of next weeks visitors) and my partner is severely lacking confidence with the baby. He tries his best with changing him, dressing him, winding him etc but because baby is so tiny (5lb5oz birth weight) and my partner is a big 6ft3 giant, he is terrified of hurting him etc. So I feel like I can’t ask him to take him for a few hours while I rest as I would spend the entire time worrying about them!

@Abracadabra1 I’m reassured to hear it’s normal. I will look further in to the 4th trimester. I do worry at night time when I am awake with him as I feel so tired and not alert enough and I’m terrified of falling asleep with baby in my arms. Even when I move room to feed him in his nursing chair and have a drink and snack etc I still feel myself falling asleep!

My husband was exactly the same, but believe me, you absolutely have to throw the baby at them and let them figure it out. How can he gain confidence without practise? Mums dont know better than Dads on Day 1 when both have no prior experience - we just have to get on with.

If there is anything to worry about, you'll hear the crying and can step in. But always always wait as absolutely long as you can bear to, otherwise they don't get enough time to figure out how to comfort the baby. Obviously, only you can do boob though!

@Mistralli totally agree with you!! I must admit I’ve probably made a rod for my own back and sometimes at night have been changing baby myself just for quickness but I make sure he does as many changes etc during the day as possible! I will definitely be taking your advice on board!

I had a 34 weeker and she was just the same

It turned out to be combination of tongue tie (only found at 14 weeks) and immature digestive system meaning she wasn’t dealing well with wind … and the tongue tie and crap latch meant there was a lot of wind!

I hope your lactation consultant can help, mine definitely did and you’ve got there quicker than me!

In the meantime - DD slept best face down on my chest, with me semi sitting up. Far from ideal for many reasons but was the least bad option at the time. I had an arrangement with V pillows behind back and under my arms to ensure nobody moved, and no duvet.

Also re winding: try winding half way through a feed (or even earlier) not just at the end

@minipie thank you, I’m glad to hear I’m not alone! I had asked the community midwife for help re feeding and she only directed me to a local BF support group which I won’t be able to attend for a couple weeks due to my c section recovery. So I thought I best book in with a location consultant asap!!

I was so close to falling asleep with baby exactly like that last night, but I am just absolutely terrified of something happening. I hope the lactation consultant can help resolve at least some of the issue. I have taken plenty videos of him to show her, the midwife, the health visitor, gp, anyone who will listen!

Hi op, sending sympathy - my dd (now a strapping 5.5 yo!) and was EXACTLY the same - poor feeder, windy, slept so much during the day we had to wake her to feed but was completely nocturnal.

I remember finishing the feeding/winding/settling cycle and weeping with exhaustion because it was almost time to start again 😭. She turned out to have a serious tongue tie but that’s not necessarily the case with your little one - as op said prem babies often struggle with feeding and digestion.

We used to do shifts in the evening, so I’d got to bed 8pm and we’d swap at 12.30, so I’d at least had a few hours. I really would I’ve you to give your DH a chance to get more confident with the baby. Mine was the same, he was completely terrified of hurting her - but he was determined to be able to look after her himself. He might need a bit of a push, but you need your rest to be able to recover.

Good luck - you’ve got this! 💪🏻