Grandparents passing

[YOUSEECOLOURS]

I was just hoping for a little advice, my 11year old son's grandad (my ex partner's dad) fell unexpectedly poorly on Wednesday and it's been confirmed he won't survive the induced coma he is currently in. My son knows that he is poorly and is currently under sedation to help but doesn't know the tire extent and I haven't broken this evening's news that this isn't going to improve.

He is so close to his grandad (as am I despite no longer being with my sons father) and I know this is going to devestate him. I was wondering if anyone had anything helpful ways to break the news.

I am going to buy a star gift so he has something to help remember him by and look up to/talk to if he needs.... But it's the initial conversation I'm panicking about, I know I'm going to be incredible emotional myself.(crying as I type as he is honestly one of the best people I know)

I would be honest and quite simple in your explanation and words used. If you try and sugar coat the situation it may confuse him. There is nothing wrong with letting him see your emotion so that he understands the feelings are normal and he can show them too.

I've had to break bad news to my dc before and I found it best to be factual. No euphemisms, clear language.

Don't be strong, or feel like you can't cry, he's going to be looking at you, and picking up on how he should react, so absolutely cry if you need to, tell him that you're finding it sad, if you're struggling with what to say, then tell him that it's a difficult situation and you don't know what to say. Ask him if he has any questions, and answer them as best you can as well.

I can't really advise on what, exactly, to say as it's totally dependent on your belief system.

I'm so sorry your family is going through this, its not easy 💐

Let him know that there is no normal way to feel. This is a big deal and all emotions are valid. Make sure his dad is involved in this too and that it is not all down to you. If he has any questions about his grandad’s illness, make sure those get answered honestly. No sugar coating or lying (even if it is supposedly to protect him). Make sure he is able to go to the funeral unless he is absolutely sure he doesn’t want to (which he may regret later). And just be there for him. It’s such a hard thing to go through. The star is nice, as well as planting a tree to remember grandad.