Videoing Your Kid Around Others

[LetsGoDadding]

I have an active 3-year-old and am quite trigger happy with my iPhone – 8k pics in his first 8 months! 🙄

However it sometimes feels awkward if I video him at soft play or in a playground and another person's kid runs into the frame.

I usually just wrap it up and pocket my phone, and avoid it if a play area's very busy – but should I?

I don't mind if my kid's in someone else's photo or video, but obviously some parents can be sensitive.

I'm sure there are plenty of opinions on this, but wondered if there was a prevailing one!

I think you're right to do this as I don't think people should film or photograph other people's children.

I'm not especially fussy about this but wouldn't do it myself as I know others are sensitive.

Also, and this isn't your point at all but I try not to constantly photograph and video my son. I want him to be free to enjoy himself without inhibitions so although i get a few snaps and videos, generally I just let him get on with it and join in with him!

Yes my wife always says I'm missing the moment or wasting time when I'm papping (Hurry UP!!), but then she steals and shares ALL my photos the minute we get in...

but then she steals and shares ALL my photos the minute we get in...

I would suggest the issue being that you (as parents) might be sharing images of other children without their parent's permission.

I think it's generally fine.

If you take a picture at any popular tourist site, for example, you're going to get people in the background. We don't have a policy of 'no photos'.

Obviously, don't deliberately film other people's children and don't film at a pool or water play area where kids might be in bathing suits/nude, but a video of your kid on the swings and another child runs past in the background? Fine.

I do agree with the others that you might want to rethink your relationship with your phone/camera. How many videos of a kid in the park do you need?!

If you are in a public place, or where it's an all comers thing, then your kids might be snapped in the background. I don't like being photographed myself but accept that this is how it is when I go out in public.

In a private setting, like a child's birthday party (other than the host), my home, etc, I expect I have a say in whether I appear in pics.

Given how common DV and SA are I understand some people don't like to be photographed and may be trying to keep their children safe whilst living as normal a life as possible. I do the same and put the camera away if people are right there.

Most soft plays (all the ones that we've been to) have a photography ban. It might not be well sign posted, but they usually have one.

As my photos don't go outside my immediate family (parents, sibling, my own immediate family), I don't consider those reasons relevant. If they're getting posted publicly or more widely, relevant.

I've found this gets trickier when they start school and you're videoing them say at sports day. My general rule of thumb is that if other people's kids are in a picture or video and identifiable eg not just the back of their head, don't share on social media. There have been issues in my daughter's class with people being upset when this has happened. Strangers kids in the park the same thing, I would stop videoing and not share on SM.

I've never posted mine on SM. I have and would ask if I know someone if filming my children when filming theirs not to.

It's hard to understand but if you asked me to stop filming my children in a public park because yours were in the same area, I'd reassure you it wasn't going on social media and continue filming. If you're in public, you might get caught on film.

I tend to try to position the camera (zooming in etc) so it's just DD as much as possible but obviously at the park etc there might be another child in the background.
I am very careful about any photos that go on social media- I would never put a photo on that had another identifiable child in it, I have a friend who is a foster carer so I think that has made me more aware of the potential issues.
At DD swimming lesson I will occasionally have DP or my sister on the side and they will take photos but I always say to them at the beginning to make sure it's only DD and me in the photos.
If another adult approached me and asked me not to take any with their child in the background I would stop immediately. I also had one occasion when I saw that an adult was actively directing a child away from where I was taking photos and appeared concerned so I stopped.

@NotSoSimpleHere hard to understand why you wouldn't want strangers having footage of your children you mean?

No, I mean the last sentence in the post was quite scrambled, so I wasn't sure if I was understanding it.

@mrssunshinexxx filming or taking photos in public e.g. where you're taking a photo of a relative or scene and happen to get members of the public in shot is perfectly legal and you really can't ask people to delete or stop because your child may be in shot. Well you can ask but they don't have to comply.

I wouldn't comply. It's a public place. I should be able to create private memories. I'd just reassure anyone who was anxious about it that it wasn't going on social media. They don't get to dictate my actions with my kids in public.

Yes when I say share I mean with family through WhatsApp. I've never even posted my own kids on social media and am quite glad I didn't now everything online's being fed into AI image training!

I have millions of photos and videos. If other kids run through it, I don't stop. I know I'm not using them for anything untowards - their kids will be photographed and videos made very often in their day to day life around town and shops.

I don't share them and I will continue to do so. I think it's ridiculous i can't have a video of my DS in the nativity or anything at school, I'm not going to stop doing it anywhere else.

Generally I take photos and videos of my dc in most public places, except where it's specifically forbidden. I'm fine with anyone else capturing my dc on video and don't let it affect my videos. I've never had anyone object to me taking photos of videos. We live in London and spend most of our time in central areas, so the places we go are full of people taking photos and videos and it's just a normal part of a day out.

Wow I'm shocked at pp who takes videos/photos during swimming lessons! That is against the rules at every class I've taken dc to, and strictly enforced at swimming.

You might have good intentions but there are creeps out there who don't. There's a blanket rule to protect the children.

Don't be that person who pushes against sensible rules that are there for all the children's safety.

As for saying "but I'm only taking photos of my own child!" Well anyone could say that, including a creep, he could claim to be a dad and no one would know unless the the actual parent of the child he's photographing happens to be the one challenging him. That's why we need blanket rules banning photography at places like swimming pools.

The problem is social media.
I know you are all saying you won't share, but others do.

My DC are adopted and when younger we didn't allow schools to put on SM, or be in the local paper etc.

Other parents including them on SM could have been an issue from a safeguarding point of view.

I think that was me. We go to a small private pool- only 1 class at a time and 6 in the class.
The rules are displayed and it's only your own child.
I wouldn't take photos in a public pool.

Yes I went to baby swimming classes where photos were allowed/encouraged. The pool was private with no one else apart from the others in the class (and all the parents were happy to be allowed to take photos). I was usually on my own with dc in the pool so not able to take any, but on a couple of occasions I had PILs visiting and they took photos of me and dc, and I'm glad we have those.