I can’t take my 2.8 year old and 16 month old out

[Weloveflowerss]

im really struggling to take them both out, tried to go to soft play but the 16 month old needs constant supervision and is so boisterous and the older one is clingy and wants me to follow her, can’t take them to the park as the older one wants me to follow her and the other one is running off in the opposite direction and climbing on things, I’ve tried to put reins on but she throws massive tantrums, I can’t face going out with them both, I don’t think I can keep an eye on both of them and keep them safe but other parents manage it so what am I doing wrong? Thanks

Yeah you basically need a fenced field at that age

Or very baby appropriate soft play

I have a very similar close age gap and go to places where nothing too bad will happen if one of them escapes such as the library, secure play gardens, secure park, woods, little forest school etc that are set up for little ones with lots of space/security. I use a double pushchair and reins if needed, clipped onto the pushchair. We do a lot of prep before we go anywhere such as talking to eldest about our plans, engage eldest in packing the bag etc so it's usually the case that they are very interested in where we are and it's only coming home that is challenging when they're both tired...that's when the double comes into its own!

I take toys and snacks everywhere just in case I need to occupy one whilst changing /feeding the other etc.

I pick my battles and don't do chores with them both such as shopping, so don't contend with the issues that could bring.

We go out several times a week just us and they have gotten used to the score with me I think. It's a totally different experience the rare times they go out with my husband who chooses inappropriate places to take them...and it's always really hard work so puts him off taking them out again. Obviously some days a trickier than others but generally we do okay.

Sounds like a tricky combination of needs where the older, more capable child wants your help and the younger, less capable one doesn't.

I think key is finding things that are pretty tiny and enclosed. In our town we have everything from huge open play parks to tiny enclosed toddler parks, maybe have a bit of an explore to find parks that are small and safe enough to allow your little one a bit more freedom whilst the older one is never too far away. Same for soft plays, they are all vastly different and you need something very small and toddler focused.

What about little trips out to farms or places you walk around? If you are all going around together it's less of a free for all of everyone running in different directions and little one can be strapped in the buggy for a while if they're getting a bit wild and refusing to walk together/reins/hand holding. It's going to probably feel a bit chaotic for a while yet but it will get better :)

I found reins alone too restrictive so I added a extendable dog lead

Both dc have ADHD (undiagnosed at the time) so would randomly run somewhere they weren’t supposed to

The extendable dog leads allowed them to run but I had the control over them when we were doing anything that could be dangerous, like crossing the road

Thanks everyone, I have searched around and found an enclosed park (harder to come by than I thought!) and I am actually considering dog leads so thank you!